Now....about the List. I've realized that being thankful is not just a feel good thing. It's not something to do when you have time and want to see your life through rose colored glasses. It is consciously choosing to accept God's gifts. It takes practice. It brings joy. It changes you.
See the thing is, I've tasted it now. And I want more. So, I've begun in earnest. I have a book on my counter open all the time and I'm writing the words down. Little glimpses of how God sees me. His call to me. His love.
#4.... little boy's drawing of another knight. the carefully drawn armor. his stories. his thoughtfulness.
#5...orange light of the sunset over the snow.
#6....boys pretending to be hermit crabs on the kitchen floor. tucking into their shells whenever I walk near.
#8....snuggly dog that cleans up spills.
#11....cricket's willingness and good humor to do the exercise video with me.
#16... tea and scones with my boys. little hands cupping tea, and whipped cream smiles.
I'm still counting....still missing alot....so much that I don't see....but I feel as though I'm being opened up....softened up....like a seed that is just now starting to understand that it is okay to grow now. To let it happen. It might hurt....being alive always does. Growing pains. But I'm going for it anyway.