Receiving Blessings

These days......these crazy, messy, beautiful days....

There are so many things I could share with you about these past few days.  The part about finding the courage to call the plumber yet again.  The part where we found out that no worker men would be here for several more days.  The part about going outside for the umpteenth time to fetch something from the fridge for the ever hungry children...in the rain.  The part about the bat that has taken up residence in the unfinished kitchen.  You get the idea.  Lots of challenging parts to these days.

Yet, the part that has grabbed my focus is how every day for the past few weeks people have reached out to us.  To offer friendship and fellowship and.....well....help. :) I'm sooooo thankful that some of you love us enough to offer help and offer again and again until I finally say yes!

I've really been thinking about why I am so hesitant (stubborn?) to accept help.  And I'm not sure there is some really deep reason.  It's just pride.  Yeah.  Pride is stubborn.  It doesn't budge for anything.  It has to be melted away.  It is the Love of God that brings us to Him.  It is Love that opens us.  It empties our cup enough to let something actually get in there.  (if your cup isn't a little empty then anything being poured in just runs right out!) 

We have so many blessings around us.  It just seems that many of us, myself included here, often are too "full" with other things to reach out and accept the blessing, whatever it may be.  (a friend's help, being provided for by someone other than yourself, or even forgiveness)  I'm so glad to be learning this right now.  

The boys have been learning it too, each in their way.  We've been playing alot more at friend's houses and having many shared meals too.  It's been so amazing to see them stretching and growing and thriving during this time.  They are so much more capable than I sometimes realize!  And I'm learning to trust God a little more with them as well.  Afterall, His love is for each of us.  For them too!  And He surely looks after them as well as He looks after me!  How silly of me to worry!

Anyway...today is our first quiet day at home in a long while.  I hope to find time to post more pictures for you.  We'll see..... The big bed upstairs and the new library books seem to be calling me.....

Yesterday

Yesterday.  The morning was rough.  The night before was .....let's just say....less than restfull.  There were many factors contributing to this but what is more important for you to know besides all the reasons why....is that I did not keep my cool.  At all.  I was tired and grumpy and I let my family know about it.  Breakfast was eggs, toast, and a side of indigestion. Oi.

The good news is that I quickly saw my behavior for what it was and humbled myself to beg pardon.  (totally because God helps me with this and for no other reason than His love and Grace)  J went off to work and surrounded by slightly disheartened but quick to forgive boys, I cleaned up breakfast determined to restart the day off much better.

We decided to do something we've been meaning to do for awhile but haven't made time for.  For a family of four boys this usually involves some kind of adventure involving seeing some kind of animal.  Snakes?  Turtles?  Owls?  What is it going to be this time?!?  

Eagles!  Yes I think we can perhaps find an eagle or two today.  We do live within a short drive of a place that has lots of them.  Or so I'm told.  We get out our book about Raptors.  We get out the map.  We find the binoculars and pack the diaper bag.  Sunglasses? Check.  Water bottles? Check.  Potty?  Check.  Shoes? Check.  Anything else?  Yes, I did remember the baby, thanks.  Okay....ready go!

So off we went.  A beautiful day for a drive.  (Coffee? Check. must not fall asleep.)  We enjoy the view from the windows of the van.  Hills and valleys.  Sunshine.  A stream that seems to follow us wherever we go.  Old train cars.  Ahhh....this is good.

We get to the Big River and find the trail.  We see the river, the river's edge, the sand, the sky, the magnificent trees.  It was just the adventure we hoped for.  We hiked for a good while picking up rocks, going through brambles, staying on the river's edge hoping to see an eagle.   And just at the last minute as we were ready to turn around and head to the van, we saw them!  Four eagles circling over the river.  They were soaring quite high so we didn't get a good look at them, but we did see them!  

And...on the way home we stopped at a creek off the highway that has an area that is a public fishing spot.  It was really fun to wander there.  No one was there.  Just us.  In the middle of this field.  And this little creak, the water so clear that we could see the bottom.  We searched for crayfish and tadpoles.  Nope, still too cold.  But we did see two minnows!  And lots of interesting algae.  And a hawk with a white belly and head...or was it an owl?  We couldn't tell.

Then back home again.  Where everything felt more restful and at peace even though there were the everyday chores still waiting for us.  We settled into them and into our groove, ending the day much, much better than we started.  

The Lord is my shepherd.....

he leads me beside quiet waters, 

he restores my soul.

Some balm

Last night was.....rough. I was an absolute grump.  About something rather silly even. (Although it did seem like a matter of principle to me then....but arguing for want of being "right" is neither practical nor kind)  So after J and I butted heads a bit....I headed upstairs to read stories with a hurting heart (my own doing) and a sore tongue. (harsh words hurt!)

Then I settled in to read with the boys.  They were all snuggled up together in their beds.  It just happened that we were on the chapter in "The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe" titled Deeper Magic from the dawn of time (or something like that).  It is the chapter right after Aslan dies and Lucy and Susan are mourning for him.  Then he comes to life again and they kiss him, and put their hands in his great mane, and he romps with them through the woods and fields.  Remember that part?  Yeah.  My soul really needed that just then.  Some balm. (like "some pig"?) I opened this soap earlier in the day and it had these little word magnets in the box! (can you see them?)

And also as we were reading together last night....Hen in my lap....I read the words "down, down, down he lept.." and Little Hen clear as day said, "down, down, down."!!!!! The boys laughed so hard they practically rolled out of their beds, and of course there was much repeating of "down, down, down" by everyone.  This morning he still is saying it.  Now he says it and looks around to see if anyone laughs and then when they take notice of him HE laughs. Oh man, is this boy ever turning out to be a handful!  Here is a picture of the little monkey just after his bath this morning.  Look at that hair! 

It is amazing to me that I can still be such a grumpy grump (yes that's a real thing) even when surrounded by so many beautiful, amazing things.  And I am wholeheartedly ashamed of myself for being so selfish sometimes. (it's true. i am.)  But the good news is there is forgiveness and fresh starts and love.  Today as I look to fill our family with "some balm" the words of the book of Corinthians keep coming to mind.  

Love is patient. Love is kind.  It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.....

I'm going to go practice this now as I take the dog out in the cold and snow...and find homes for all the new xmas gifts...and wipe noses and settle them in for some quiet times.  I'll let you know how it goes...