Do you remember this post from way back when? You know, the one where I tell you about getting rid of our old couch? Well, J's back is much better for it, but I'll openly admit that my temper had a rough time with the whole thing. I won't give you any excuses, because...well...I was being selfish and impatient. But I will say, that it was back in January when we got rid of that old couch, and we sat on the floor for two months before I finally moved the old daybed in.
Now, the daybed is not quite as bad for J's back as the couch, but it's not comfortable and it only seats three. As you know, there are six in our family, so inevitably someone (or several someones actually) have been sitting on the floor for a good three months now. And for the record, the daybed belonged to my grandmother who died when I was thirteen. So if that tells you at all, what kind of shape it's in.....
And here's the thing....all of this really shouldn't have been a big deal. I mean, people in other countries sit on the floor all the time. We have a warm house. And blankets and the ability to keep the floor clean and dry. Yet, everyday I found myself getting grumpier and grumpier about there being no real furniture in our living room. And the grumpier I got, the more entitled I started to feel. I started thinking about how we have never boughten furniture since we've been married more than ten years ago. How we really should have furniture so we can have people over and they will feel comfortable. How my children should be able to have a clean, comfortable place to sit.
And you know what? All of those thoughts really are just a big charade for my pride. Because wasn't me wanting other people to be comfortable really about how embarrassed I felt when a friend was here and instead of sitting on our "couch of blankets" (where we sat everyday) she dragged a chair from the other room so she could sit down? I admit I felt humiliated. But I wouldn't have felt that way, if I was really interested in her being comfortable would I have? Really. It just all boils down to me thinking I deserve nice furniture because of my pride.
And somehow, while I was scanning Craigslist for furniture, I realized that it is the same lesson that I have been learning over and over again these past few years. Yes. The lesson about not having a bath tub and feeling entitled. The lesson about not having kitchen cabinets or a sink that doesn't leak and feeling entitled. And I wonder....what have I missed that I keep having to learn this over and over again?
And this time through....this same lesson....I see God at work in me more. I was more willing to wait until J was ready to spend the money. I was still impatient at times, yes, but I was much better than I have been before. I prayed about it and waited to see what God had for us. I waited. And waited.
Then finally, two days ago we spotted on Craigslist this sectional for a very small amount of money that was very close to what we had been looking for and J said, "Yes! Let's get it!" So I went through all the communications with the seller and set everything up for delivery, only for the man to never call us back and disappear entirely. I was so disappointed. But only for a minute! Because, the very same day another sectional was listed and this time it was exactly what we wanted and even though we were not the first ones to reply to the ad, the woman picked us. Today J went to pick it up and it just barely fit into our van. After much effort we got it through the skinny old front door and voila! Our new couch.
And the lesson? Well....all I can say is that I can see more clearly these days, how God takes care of us. I know to some people all these things seem like coincidences, but I choose to believe that it is The Shepherd leading us to good things. I hope the next time this lesson comes round to be able to trust even more, and as a result to just rest peacefully during the waiting....knowing that it will all work out somehow for our good and for His purpose.