Tree Shadow Farm

Just Writing

2011-12-05T14:39:00.000-06:00

This is me starting somewhere. Just writing because I have this need to write and for a long while now have not had the energy or clearness of thought to be able to put anything down on the page. Life has been a challenge lately. The kind where you find yourself just never really getting to the bottom of anything but the one thing you do know is that you have to keep going. You have to keep waking up every day and putting both feet to the ground and choosing to stand up and do all the things that are before you.

This isn't to say that there have been no moments of joy. There have been plenty. It's just that I have had only enough to find them and notice them and give a small whisper of thanks and then move on. And that's okay. It's just the season we've been in.

Today, running on very little sleep I have been able to do the dishes and some laundry and help sick boys and make lunch. I feel very accomplished. :)

Our unborn baby is growing well. Moving around a lot according to the ultrasounds, but I still do not feel movement. I have a suspicion that the placenta might be in the front this time which makes it harder to feel these things.

This morning I was really feeling like I wished it would snow. The bright whiteness of a good snow always seems like such a fresh start to me. I whispered a little prayer about this. And God answered with the smallest of snows, just flurries that dusted the rooftop out my kitchen window. Like He was saying that He wanted me to know, that even though He couldn't give me what I wanted just then, He heard me. He always hears me and listens and cares. Even when the answer is no or the answer is just silence. And as cliche as it sounds the truth is He leaves me a peace that fills me up.

So I keep putting my feet to the floor every morning.

Our Baby is 9

2011-11-18T16:52:00.000-06:00

And so it happened...our eldest boy turned nine.

Oh, my son. What words can I write for you that properly express all that I hope for you? You amaze me! You always have, since the day you were born. We are proud of who you are and of the man you are becoming. We love you so much, and are so thankful to be your parents.

You are our little sportman!

A wonderful big brother!

My sweet and helpful boy! I love your ideas, your love for reading, your gentle teaching to your brothers, how you want to include me in your day. I love baking with you, reading with you, playing with you, going for walks with you, working in the garden with you, making art with you. May God continue to bless you as you grow.

And as always...here are a few pictures of the cake. What a good idea you had Badger for a scarecrow cake!

This Autumn at Our Home

2011-10-28T20:13:00.000-05:00

Fall has come and we have reveled in it. The days have been filled with lingering and walking and playing and learning and gathering up as many outside days as we can before winter chases our favorite season away!

The boys in the leaves on one of the warmer days. Bare feet.

Cricket my always relaxed one. And Badger wearing his hat and bandana that are always with him these days. He's really into scarecrows for some reason and likes to dress up like one almost every day.

The two littles. Hen wasn't quite sure about being "in" the leaves and Owl was pretending to be a mummy?

We spent a day a week or so back carving pumpkins and gathering seeds for next years crop. We were blessed to be able to trade some of our Concords for pumpkins this year! The boys were diligent in picking out the seeds for saving and roasting even though it was a gooey job.

This fall has been a season of change for us. J has changed positions at the company he works for, which is a blessing to be sure, but also has kept him very busy! I spent the most part of September and October feeling really quite lousy and after a time of the doctors not being able to figure out what was "wrong" we discovered I am expecting.

I don't really know what to write about it. I have written and rewritten this post trying to put my thoughts down on paper....for you...and myself. But I find I just don't have much to say about it right now. We feel like this is a blessing and that God has a plan for us and for this baby. This doesn't mean that there aren't times of feeling totally overwhelmed and a whole myriad of other emotions! But I find those emotions aren't even worthy of me taking note of them.

When I told J we were pregnant, I was nervous, and he just was so calm and said "It must be the plan for us!" And I'm just sticking with that. :)

And for the record I'm just 11 weeks. We had an ultrasound to confirm the dates and the baby looks great. We got to see his little arms and legs moving around. Due date is May 21st which means l'il babe will probably arrive the first few days of June. (if he's anything like his brothers) Here's hoping and praying that all goes well!

Visiting the Encampment

2011-10-06T07:08:00.000-05:00

Last weekend the historical society in our area hosted a Historical Day at one of the beautiful parks in our area. And we got to go! It was such a fun day. There was a hatchet throw, which the boys got to participate in. Here's Cricket learning how it's done.

Give me a try already! He did great, and after a few tries actually got the hatchet to stick into the wood slab. Can you see the small white rectangle on the target? That's a playing card. The goal in the competition is to hit the card, or better yet slice a chunk off it!

Badger's turn.

He nailed it after just a few tries.

And of course the big boys had to try to. Here's papa measuring out the paces to know where to stand. (7 paces away from the target) J actually hit the card, but that was after breaking off part of the woodslab's stand with a wayward hatchet. The trick apparently is not to throw it hard, but to take advantage of the natural spin of the hatchet.

There was also a blacksmith demonstration. The boys have been interested in smithing for awhile now, and were anxious to see it up close. We had the chance to talk with the blacksmith for quite awhile and the boys even got to hold the metal as it was being cooled in the water.

There was also a large tee pee. With a fire inside, and all different kinds of animal furs and hides. The boys loved going inside and talking with the man about it.

And games. Here's J and Badger practicing the three legged race.

My dad and Cricket joined them. Such fun!

And of course a potato sack race. :)

Such an awesome morning. :) Followed by a very nice afternoon, where J and I actually got to get away for a little while and just walk our small town by ourselves. (thanks mom and dad) We have so much fun when it's just the two of us, not that we don't have fun with the whole clan, and it's so refreshing to be away. We both greeted our week this week with a little more peace and gentleness of spirit than usual. And it seems we need it. Two boys are sick, J and I are both recovering from long colds, and we still have so much work to finish on the house and garden before winter arrives. I will just trust that God will continue to take care of us, and go about my days, my moments, with a quiet trust in my heart. And I'll remember these fun days that get put in there with all the rest. Life is really beautiful.

Peaches, Flooring, and Happenings...

2011-09-20T16:04:00.000-05:00

Nope. Not apples. Peaches. Because that's how ambitious I am! On top of all the harvesting here, I decided to buy a box of Michigan peaches to put up for the winter. They were beautiful....I couldn't resist!

I blanched them, and the boys peeled them. All 68 of them or something like that. Then I sliced them and froze them for peach crisp, and peach pie, and fresh peaches on our granola. Yum!

Six giant bags of peaches are in my freezer. :) And 26 jars of homemade salsa are in my cupboard! Thanks to my mom who brought tomatoes from a friend and worked hard hard hard with me all last Saturday. And well, actually there are only 13 jars in the cupboard she has half of them.

Also, recently...the men put in the laminate floor in the orange room. Our eldest son worked all day with papa on measuring and cutting boards and laying them down. It was a joy to see them work together, and to witness how capable our boy is. How hardworking and interested and helpful.

We've also just been getting into the swing of school. Our days go so well when I actually get my stuff together ahead of time and have lots of projects and ideas for them. No, I don't actually always "do" the stuff with them, but I am the idea maker alot of the time! Having more structure in our school day really seems to suit us. It's definitely NOT like school structure at all. More like...have lots of things lined up to do that are interesting, hands on, and pertinent and then go with the flow. But we do make sure we get to Math, Bible, and Handwriting everyday, while the other subjects kind of shift around depending on how we are doing, what harvesting needs to get done, and what field trips we are taking! It's been a good fall so far. I hope it continues so!

Giveaway Winner!

2011-09-08T20:21:00.000-05:00

The boys had so much fun with the drawing! (I did too!)

And the winner of the Etsy Giveaway is.....Wildflower!

Congratulations! I'll contact you to get your mailing address very soon.

Thank you to everyone who supported me with comments on the blog, emails, and convos at my Etsy Shop. I truly love hearing from each of you. It's been really exciting to learn what your tastes are and it's helping me make my shop a more creative spot! So thanks!

Makin' Grape Juice

2011-09-06T20:31:00.000-05:00

The autumn days have settled in here and along with the cool crisp days comes the ripening of the orchard. The apples are ready on the Cortland tree and the Concord grapes are starting to ripen. It is such a blessing to have all of these good things growing right in our own little spot of earth. But it can also mean a lot of work!

This year, the boys are a bit older, and so we've decided to have a Harvest Week instead of the more structured book type learning of "regular" homeschool days. They were excited to get started so I set them to work right away!

The two eldest boys washed the grapes, plucked them from their stems, smashed them up and put them into a pot. The smashing was by far the most exciting part. They are so juicy!

Here they are all smashed up and ready to cook. Did you know that concords are green on the inside even when ripe? It's the skin that gives the juice that dark color.

They cook over medium heat just until they boil for a few minutes to release the juice. Then it all gets put into a cheesecloth to be strained.

The color is so beautiful to me and the whole process smells soooo good. I let it sit in the cheesecloth for a day or overnight and then carefully pour it into a big glass jar for the fridge or freezer. And Yes! We drink it straight! It's sooooo tart! We put it over ice-cubes and it's a fun time. I also use it to make grape jelly. Homemade grape jelly tastes so much better than the store bought kind and it's a treat to have a jar in the pantry come winter.

So right about now you might be wondering how I manage to get this done with little Hen always getting into things! He is definitely into things! (i love it!) Well...the two older boys were so helpful that while they were making the grape juice I made a batch of chocolate zucchini bread, which kept Hen busy.

*Don't miss out on the opportunity to win something from my Etsy shop! You still have two days to sign up. I hope to hear from you about which one you like as it's an important part of the learning process in this whole adventure! Thanks!

The Etsy Shop! And a Giveaway!

2011-09-03T13:07:00.000-05:00

I'm am so happy to share with you about my Etsy Shop! Tree Shadow Designs is now up and running!

The shop is a place for me to share with you, friends, the fiber art that I have been happily working on for the past several months. I just love yarn, and love the whole process of creating with it. I love how it feels in my hands, the motion of the needle being wrapped up. I love how you can make something three dimensional from a single strand of wool. The items in the shop are a mix of crochet and embroidery, although I also love to knit and felt. Perhaps there will be some of that in the future!

So....I'd love it if you'd go over and take a peek! And because all of this has really happened because of the good things that I've been given...I want to give something to you! A Giveaway!

Here's how it works. One of you will win a free item from the shop of your choice. To enter, just leave me a comment here on the blog telling me which one you would like, if you are chosen. To receive another entry in the drawing, like Tree Shadow Designs on facebook, and tell me about it in your comment. And get yet another entry if you sign up as a follower of this blog. The drawing will take place next Thursday and I will announce the winner on the blog.

And lastly, but maybe most importantly, Thank You! So many of you have supported me though this journey. Sent me a note of encouragement or given me ideas....Thank You! Your friendship means alot to me and just might be the best part of this whole endeavor.

Cereal Box Knight Helmuts

2011-08-31T19:52:00.000-05:00

The first day of school, earlier this week, we did this! Well at least for a part of the day anyway. :)
The boys have ideas you see. And I am trying to follow through on my end more. You know...like when they say "But we want to build helmuts".....and you say "We can do that later"....because there is math to do and it's almost supper time and you'd like to actually be able to see the dining room table when the man walks in the door at the end of his day.

So....this time...when they said..."let's"....I said "Yes!"

Made out of cereal boxes, packaging tape, ribbon, and metallic spray paint. They got to spray it themselves and thought that was especially cool. They did all of it themselves, except I ripped the tape. As a mom I felt it my duty to save them from the jaws of that nasty tape dispenser. (ahem)

My favorite part....the shinguards...from soccer....

Little Hen watches these big guys so closely, taking it all in. We didn't paint the inside, because I didn't want the paint to close to their skin. So if you look closely it's also an advertisement for Cinnamon Harvest. Yum.

Cricket's is really large, but that's how he wanted it. Notice in this picture the cereal box gauntlet? That was an earlier creation. Yes, we are very creative with our recylcing bin. The gauntlet is falling apart now, and I notice as I type this that it's being held together by one of my hair bands. I seriously can not keep track of those things as they are always being used to fix engineering "problems" in this house! I think I might need a secret hiding place for them, but my homeschooling mama brain would probably forget where I put them. So, I'll just continue to look in the boys things when I need one. :)

The Elephant

2011-08-28T20:08:00.000-05:00

At Circus World Museum

The elephant's name is Tiny.

On Keeping a House

2011-08-23T21:52:00.000-05:00

I know, I know. Writing about this makes it seem....well...like I am just a boring housewife, who only thinks of her children and homemaking things. But. It's not true. And I really have something to say about this. So.

Why is it that no one really talks about homemaking in a tangible way? It seems to me anyway, that you either hear about the Marthas who talk as if they have it all together and their houses never are in disarray. Or you hear about the women who talk about housework only if it is to complain. Or you hear about taking care of one's home, in a decorating sense...you know...like about how to pick out the exact right color or have the cleverest idea for storing your shoes. And it should be noted that this last one of the three usually involves spending money on some elaborate system or overpriced product.

What I would like to know....is how to keep a home that is clean and tidy and beautiful, without spending money or contacting an interior designer. I would like there to be a magazine that is about housekeeping when you have a brood of children and making a room artisitic when you only have ten dollars!

I would like to read something that reminds me that taking care of my old bookshelf that has no paint and is not quite big enough, is better than spending money that I do not have on one that is fashionable and more useful. I really would. Because then I wouldn't have to spend so much time convincing myself that these truths really are true. I wouldn't have to work so hard at stopping the comparing that happens in my mind every time I see a picture of someone else's living room. I would look at what I have and see what a gift it is, instead of wishing it were something else.

I read once that "Comparison is the thief of joy." And I really believe that. The tricksy thing about it is, that I can stop comparing and feel fine and joyful and content, but then a friend comes over and I worry that they are comparing! I worry, that although I am fine with what I have or don't have, that they will feel bad for me! Oh to be truly content with the things that matter. To be deeply rooted in them so that the little things are just that...little things.

The Plant Zoo

2011-08-13T20:27:00.001-05:00

Today we journeyed to Olbrich Botanical Gardens for a little adventure. The rain let up just for us, and we arrived there with the sunny sky above. As we pulled into the parking lot, eldest boy read the sign, "Olbrich Botanical Gardens."

Second boy said, "Botanical what? Aww, man, what is this place?" (yes, he's been here before many times, but it has never seemed more than a nice place to walk and he has never been atune enough to remember its name)

Eldest says, "It's a plant museum. Don't worry it'll be fun. We'll walk around and see all the plants, like a museum, only for plants."

At this point Owl (boy #3) pipes up, "No, it's like a zoo. It's a plant zoo." We all laugh and agree wholeheartedly and it's good to start our adventure with a smile.

So many watery places....so many little spots of beauty....

It was the perfect day to walk in the garden with my love...

The littlest man walked almost the whole way, and we walked for almost an hour. Of course he has to "hold hands, mama!" and his little hat kept coming off every time he turned his head it seemed, to which he'd say "my hat is blowing away!" which of course made me want to laugh. But such tender little worries need to be handled with care, and I admit that even unaware old me is finally starting to get this, so you can imagine me dutifully rescuing his hat from the imaginary gust and putting it back on his head twenty times.

This bromeliad flower was amazing. The picture doesn't do it justice. Notice the butterfly hiding out?

My favorite spot. I could spend a day here...with a book or a paint brush....

My little men.

Oh, and let me end by telling you that J took us all out for lunch at a place called "Daisy's cafe and cupcakery". Yeah. It was awesome. I enjoyed the most amazing sandwich ever which involved breaded eggplant and edamame hummus followed by a mocha cupcake that was amazing. I shared with little hen and he just kept saying, "hmmm, mama this is delicious!" It really was. The whole day. Delicious.

August....

2011-08-12T19:58:00.002-05:00

....is a month of abundance. Hot days, warm nights. Summer rain. Sunshine. Sunshine. Sunshine. All these things bring about abundance in a garden.

Eggplants.

The "wealthy" apples, just like my grandma grew, from the tree we thought was dead.

Pears growing in their perfect roundness.

The sweetness of nectar sustaining such beauty.

Yet....these same things....sunshine, and heat, and even rain....the things that are essential for growth....they also stress the plants. Too much of any of these causes the plants to be stunted and weak. And as I'm out in the garden, (like Eve?) I wonder how one balances all this. How do we, creatures that need growth to live, how do we ever control the "circumstances" enough to avoid stress and thrive?

The summer goodness also brings weeds. The garden was full of them when we got home! I didn't mind too much, because nerd that I am, I actually like weeding. It sorts my insides out without me knowing it.

And in case you haven't seen this crazy picture yet....the summer goodness also brought this to my potato patch....

And no, I didn't chase them away even though the Mr. McGregor in me thought about it. I waited a few days until their eyes opened and then I did!

They sure were sweet to watch though. The boys loved, loved, loved them. And when we released them (ahem...chased them out with a stick) the little hollow left behind did feel a bit sad and empty. And I sat and weeded around their old home after they were gone (yes I left the weeds while they were here so they'd have something to eat) I kept thinking, thinking about how the same goodness grows both the good and the "bad". Doesn't it?

And what about me? How do I handle the sun shining down on me? What do I do when it's too hot too many days in a row and I just can't breath? What about when the rains come washing down so hard that I can't see in front of me at all and I don't know which way to turn? How do I handle all of it? I went to bed that night feeling like I didn't know anything at all. Only that somehow I still knew that God is good, but how do I make sense of it all?

The next morning I woke to this....

The cardinal flowers that I had waited all summer for, finally blooming, showing their brightness in the morning sunshine!

A yellow finch husking sunflower seeds like an old man does peanuts....

(His eye on the sparrow?)

And boys. Boys making pancakes. (note the storm trooper "flipper") Boys that greet each day with a freshness that is contagious. (Morning by morning new mercies I see...)

And then later in the week....the boy who all last summer and this season too...just couldn't find the courage to join in at soccer, yet desperately wanted to go each time. Such a struggle, maybe more for the mama than the boy. And finally, as if I was the most forgetful of all children, finally after many many times of struggling with this...I mumble this weak prayer to the one who fixes hearts...(please help him, Lord) and then the very next time...this! Out there the whole game! Smile on his little brown face!

Perhaps we manage all of this crazy goodness by just accepting the Grace? With open hands. And we keep going. Trusting that our ship will come to no harm that He doesn't have providence over. That no struggle will be too big for Him to guide us through. That even though we don't always understand, we can trust that He is good. He is love. We are loved.

The Trip!

2011-08-04T21:09:00.000-05:00

J and I and our l'il troop headed to Door County this past week! We spent four days seeing the sights, visiting with family, and I think we all enjoyed it very much indeed. Here are a few of the highlights....

Port Jackson's beach...

finding crayfish with cousins....

papa and hen...hen LOVES the water....

Cricket....a relaxed and fun to be around traveler...

Papa did a lot of carrying of the little guy, trooper that he is. It's been really, really nice to have J with us for such a stretch of days. I can't believe he has to go back to work tomorrow. It's going to feel strange to be on our own again. (eek!)

Bumming around the harbor....watching the boats....feeling the breeze....watching the water birds....

walking on the pier....rain clouds rolling in....

the whole gang...perhaps a bit tired at this point?

blue moon! (we stopped for ice cream at a place called the Chocolate Chicken)

Bailey's harbor beach...Lake Michigan...

It was storming off and on this day and the waves were awesome!

Bare feet. Sandy beach. Crashing waves. A shore that beckons you to come and take a walk while the rain rolls in and your brothers laugh and skip rocks and go in the water too far for shorts because who can resist a wave like that?

We did more traveling too. On the ferry boat. (super fun!) Around the little towns and shops. Spent time with cousins and grandparents. J and I felt like we were on a date "over the kids heads" most of the time. And I'll be honest, going on vacation with four littles is not really vacation when you are the mama. But....seeing it all through their eyes...building these memories with them....it's so worth it! More than worth it. And I'd walk anywhere with them. With J. Anywhere.

In the Garden With My Loves...

2011-07-29T13:13:00.000-05:00

The garden calls to me in the morning. I hurry to finish the necessary tasks, the must be dones, so I can head outside. Some of the special beauties growing there, they wait for no one. If you don't get up early enough you don't get to see them raising their petals to the sky.

squash flowers at sunrise

morning glories singing their praises...reaching for the sky...see that one tendril reaching up past the gate a few feet?

Some flowers do wait, patiently even. This one grew in a very unlikely place and gave me quite an interesting perspective when I stooped down to his level. Funny how a flower can make even an old rusty fence an object of beauty.

the chicken coop peeking through the morning glories

Today the first tomato was spied! He's hiding behind a leaf, blushing red with sweet ripeness.

This year we were adventurous and planted spaghetti squash. This one is quite large and the boys check on it every day. I'm not sure what they are expecting it to do or be but they think it is amazing that it grew from the small seed they put into the ground last May.

Hen in the early morning sunshine.

The best thing about the garden? Even better than all the delicious things it gives us, is how it brings my boys together. When I am weeding or watering a boy is certain to be nearby asking questions, looking for bugs and telling me the things on his heart. They are becoming quite knowledgeable about growing things, but more importantly they are learning patience and trust and how to tell me their little hopes and worries.

Today we picked cucumber beetles off the squash vines. Sounds like a "not so fun" job, but it was actually a good time! A boy would spy one and I would come and scoop it up and drop it into a jar of soapy water. It became a game of hunting and we soon had a jar full of them. The boys were especially interested in why the cucumber beetles float and other beetles do not. I think I sense a bug anatomy lesson in our very near future. (isn't homeschooling great?)

Cricket with the jar of bugs.

We harvested more than bugs today. :) Lettuce and green beans and cucumbers. Basil and tomatoes. Eggplants. The peppers are almost ready and the new potatoes too.

It must be a gift to grow things. The way my soul feels about it. Growing food. Flowers. Boys. For me, it just doesn't get much better than that.

Summertime!

2011-07-26T20:58:00.000-05:00

Sunshine comes in many forms. This beauty greets us in the morning out the dining room windows. Several of them actually. The song birds have decided to claim them and we do not mind. There is always something to watch while we are sitting to eat or to do a creative project.

Here's Hen all ready for a walk. Such a happy boy.

Little Owl with his walking stick. Reminder to self, don't ever try to convince a boy to choose a smaller stick unless you really feel like getting into it.

Many of our walks end at a park of some sort. The brothers wouldn't all look at the camera. (I don't blame them as I am not one to pose children) I love this picture even though they aren't all looking in the same place because it is so natural.

Hammock love.

Badger at soccer. The boy loves to run. And run. And run....

Go team!

Learning With Friends

2011-07-22T23:32:00.000-05:00

The boys had an awesome opportunity today. One that they will be talking about and thinking about for quite some time, I think. A friend of ours, a young man, from our community, brought over his Lego creation. His amazing Lego creation. The boys were in awe.

It's a tank hunter. (looked like a tank to me!) It was truly amazing. Can you see the little blue minifigure in the above photo. We put that guy there for scale. This thing is really large.

Here it is with its remote. Yep. It moves and turns and shoots with a aimable, reloadable gun. Crazy neat! I do not describe it well enough to do justice to it. I do not have an engineering mind. But our friend does and he explained the three motors and levers and design very thoroughly to the boys, who listened eagerly and asked all kinds of questions. They were so impressed. Truly. It was such fun.

The photo below is of the inside, with the armor removed.

What a treat for the boys to be able to share this with our friend. There was such a nice conversation following, such showing of Legos by the boys, showing the hermit crabs, talking about boy things. There was even some talk of this young guy guiding our boys in the "next step" into learning about simple machines and building with Lego motors. Cool.

The Reasons

2011-07-20T22:13:00.000-05:00

Two years into this journey, the journey of Home Education, I find myself rethinking the reasons we homeschool. Our lovely little co-op is losing two of its teachers and we are feeling really jumbled up with the change. And also, this year I will be incorporating more activites for and with the two littler men, and this change is making me feel a little nervous too. When discussing it with my beloved J, he calmly said, well maybe we should send them to school. *gulp* I will leave you to imagine my less than gracious reply. (ahem)

I wonder how it is that school "worked" for J. He thinks, on the whole, that it did, you see. He is incredibly smart and well balanced intellectually. So in that way it "worked", I guess. I just can't help but think that education is not only about one's intellect. It is so much more than that. I want my boys to discover learning with their whole person. I want them to learn that growing one's mind is dependent upon growing one's body and soul too. I want them to learn how to be emotionally intelligent and to learn to serve others and live a life of faith. Intelligent faith that is deeply rooted and applicable to life.

School did not work for me. I quickly learned that I didn't have to participate very much, that I could still get very good grades on tests and that as long as I did that no one would bother me. School was merely a place I had to go to everyday. I tried to have fun along the way, but honestly the only thing I got out of it was lots of "learning the hard way" when it came to developing and keeping friendships. I think it's so strange that people think you need to send a child to school to learn to be well "socialized"! What on earth? How does that even begin to make sense? I think what they mean is that they think everyone out to learn to be institutionalized, right? Like how to sit when it's time to sit, how to be quiet and fill out worksheets properly, how to raise your hand, and how to play on the playground without getting beaten up?

I know that I am not the most socially gracious person, so perhaps I don't get to have an opinion on how one becomes a socially gracious being....but I'm just thinking that it probably has a lot to do with learning how to be kind. How to love. (Love is patient. Love is kind....) Doesn't a loving home seem to be the place to learn this?

I also want the boys to be able to experience the freedom that comes from thinking for one's self and learning how to manage time on their own too. I want to provide an atmosphere that is conducive to learning, to thinking, to pondering, to experimenting, to creating and then let them choose. I want to be there to guide them when they have trouble or worries, if they need me. I want to help them think on their own before they have a need to be in situations with other people that might be trying or difficult to manage with kindness and understanding. I want to equip them for every good work!

I know that I will not do this perfectly. I know that I will mess up, probably often, you know...since I'm a human being and all. But I am not about to give up just because it would be more financially sound, or because it would make us seem more normal, or because I might mess up along the way! These are our children we are talking about! I want the very best for them! The best that we can give them! They are real human souls full of joy and wonder and life!

ps. I asked them...and they want to homeschool this year again too. :)

The Healthy Lifestyle, Update

2011-07-16T20:46:00.000-05:00

Hi friends. I am about to share more of my weightloss journey with you. I'm sorry if you don't like it. It's just that, well, I am a teacher by nature. I can't help it! So, when I learn something new, through experience or just from reading about it, I love to tell you about it because I want you to learn too!

Well...

I've been on the journey still. Since January (or was it late December?) The journey is a long path that I will be on for my whole life. It has many ups and downs. I had a rough patch in there during late spring, when we were very busy and the healthy lifestyle kind of was set to the side. It's so easy to make excuses! But on the whole, I'm headed in the right direction. I'm so thankful for my friends who have encouraged me on the way. My walking partner who comes to get me at 5:30am! My buddies who track their food along with me at myfitnesspal.com . And my little (or not so little) family that is patient in their own way while I struggle with making different foods and taking time to exercise or write down my food for the day. Thank you all.

Things that I am working on....that are working for me (as in..helping me to lose pounds!)....

**Planning out the fruits and veggies of the day. Really. If it is planned for me to eat them, then I don't think we are going to not have enough for the kids for the week and I can eat them freely. I plan out all three meals of the day for the week and try to get four servings of fruits and vegetables for everyone in there. I know you are supposed to eat more, but you've got to start somewhere!

**Using myfitnesspal.com is really helping too. It is so important to keep track of what you eat. It allows you to keep track of important nutrients too, not just calories, and it helps you figure out how much you can eat and still lose weight. It calculates it specifically for you and your age, height, weight, special needs, and amount of exercise. It varies daily with whatever exercise you did that day, so it's helpful to keep track! It's a free website. So go ahead and click over there if you like. The food database is so much more inclusive than the previous website's that I had been using. If you do sign up, let me know so I can "friend you" (silly i know) so we can encourage one another!

**I have set little goals for myself along the way. Otherwise it can be overwhelming. I have a weekly goal, a monthly goal and a final goal. They change sometimes, but it helps to keep the forward momentum.

**I have found a fun reward for myself, because I need lots of encouragement and most people are too shy to encourage me about my weightloss. So I encourage myself! My reward is...for every week that I stick with my goals (tracking food and exercising) then I buy myself fresh flowers and the end of that week. I love flowers in the house, and sadly I am lacking them. (ahem, J, ahem...) Now I get them and I feel good about spending that small amount of money on myself because I earned it!

**Just keep trying. Not every day is going to be easy. Some days I screw up. Some days I'm grumpy and selfish and lazy. Somedays I eat ice cream. It's okay. It's not the end of the world. Just stop, turn around and get back on the path. Do it quickly or you'll feel worse. (talking to myself here)

I'll leave you with a final quote....
"Do or do not. There is no try." -yoda
(did I get that right?)

Happenings

2011-07-13T20:21:00.000-05:00

Summer is upon us. It's wonderful, really. And still I wonder if I will ever be truly ready for summer when it comes. Perhaps there will be a year, some time in the future, that I will be ready. I'm not even sure really what ready means in this case, but I feel like we all anticipate summer's coming for so long and then it's here and I feel like I missed it's arrival. I don't know. Maybe it's supposed to be that way. Like somehow the anticipation would be less if we knew when it's coming would be.

Anyway, while I was supposed to be paying attention to getting ready for summer, I have been.....

-Feeding my children, which apparently at this point is a full time job in and of itself. Jeepers!

-Potty training Hen. There is so much to say about this and yet nothing to say about this, you know?

-Taking care of the garden and my husband (who had a bad infection in his foot. He's fine now, thank you.)

-Having a yard sale.

-Painting the upstairs hallway. White. I'm going for the whitewashed look. I'm not sure why, but that's how it is for me. I intuit paint colors and I can not explain it, nor do I think I should have to. But I will tell you, I just am going with white because I want it to look like a blank canvas. I'm going to hang blue flower pots all over the walls or something. Wait and see.

-Exercising, thank you Jessica. You rock. I would not be getting up so very, very early without you!

-Picking berries. Making jam. Picking berries. Making juice. Picking berries. Freezing berries. Picking berries.....

-Having good conversations with My Little Men. And reading Little Men. (Alcott) For real, I love that book. I wish that we had named our house Plumfield. We were out driving in the country today, on our way to a hiking spot, and we saw a very large old fashioned house and Badger said, "That house looks just like how I imagine Plumfield to look!"

-And loving. As best I know how. Fumbling through this world in prayer that I would be able to show those around me love. Letting go of how I want it to be and accepting God's plan. Trusting that His idea is better than mine and that He will show me His goodness again and again. And all by His grace.

How to Make Fresh Pesto

2011-07-07T22:29:00.000-05:00

The basil is ready! Are you? :)

Reba's Pesto Recipe....adapted from the Moosewood cookbook....

6 cups fresh basil leaves (packed cups)
2/3 cups organic olive oil
2/3 cups fresh parmesan cheese
6-8 large cloves of garlic

Put the basil and garlic into a food processor and process until very finely chopped. Add the oil and cheese and process just a bit more. That's all! It's that simple! Add to pasta or pizza or chicken or fish for a delightfully, fresh summer flavor.

Variations: You can add toasted pine nuts or walnuts to add a nice nutty flavor. You can also substitute part spinach for the basil. (really you can, and it still tastes great!)

To store the pesto...put into a glass jar, smooth out the top and add a small layer of additional olive oil. This helps preserve the fresh green color and makes it last longer. It should keep for up to two weeks in the fridge. Pesto freezes really well too so go ahead and make a couple of batches for those winter days that are sure to come. Enjoy!

Memories & A Menu

2011-07-04T21:20:00.003-05:00

Hiking at the park. Miles of paths through shady woods, lined with blackberries and gooseberries everywhere the eye falls. (No, the berries were not ripe yet, patience, patience! )

We followed the creek through clearings of wildflowers, the creek calling to us for relief from the hot sun. Only Millie gave in to the call. I don't know if you can tell but she is lying down in the water.

Eldest (Badger) was the dog walker. He told me that if we were a pack of dogs, I'd be the Alpha female, he'd be the oldest offspring and Millie would be the least important dog. Nice. Cricket was the navigator. He stopped frequently to check which direction we were going. "We have been going South-west for a long, long time."

The two littles got to ride (thank you, Papa) and it was fun for everyone. (Except for the part where J had to push that stroller uphill through sand while watching for horse droppings) He considered it exercise though, good natured as he is, said how good it was to feel oneself sweat. Ha.

We've been making all kinds of memories these days. We also went to the beach this weekend. Hen flopped around like a little fish. All the boys are growing in their ability in the water and J and I had our hands full just watching them. (sorry no pictures! I was too busy counting heads above the water) We had a picnic too and then came home to camp. No we didn't sleep outside, but the boys put up their tents in Ravenwood and played among them all afternoon. They are a regular pack of little Natives. I love it!

We rested this afternoon and made a Flag Cake in honor of the day. The boys made the "stars and stripes." I used this recipe for whole wheat shortcake. It was the first sponge cake I ever attempted and it was so worth the effort. Yum!

(a moment of reflection? from this tired out camper)

There were games of checkers tonight and then off to an early bedtime to help start the week off well.

And with that I'll leave you....with a Menu. (am I the only one who loves to read people's menus?)
At our house this week...

M.....Spinach, green onion, and feta omelettes w/toast & jam

Turkey, cheddar, and cucumber sandwiches and fresh veggies

BBQ chicken, salad from the garden, and flag cake

T......Soaked oatmeal with raisins and nuts

Black Bean Quesadillas, fresh veggies

Beef & Pea Pod Stir Fry

W....Eggs in a nest w/ Nectarine slices

PB & J, fresh veggies

Felafel with cukes and toms and homemade flatbread

Th....Blueberry Pancakes

Salad with cottage cheese and veggies

Beef & Bean Tacos with fixin's and cornbread

F.....Soaked oatmeal with raisins or apples

Nachos with beans and cheese and veggies

Pesto Pasta with Broccoli and Grape Tomatoes

S....will be on the fly....just using up whatever we have in the garden and fridge! We are on a budget afterall, and I have found that instead of changing the variety or kinds of foods to save money it works best to just have a day of eating the random things that need to be used up.

What's cookin' at your place?

The Plants Grow Me

2011-06-16T21:31:00.000-05:00

Sweet Basil growing on the kitchen windowsill.

Basil is an intentional plant. You have to decide you want it and plant the seed. You have to wait for it and wait for it. It will only germinate in the right conditions. It loves warmth and lots of watering. You have to give it what it needs each day or it will not thrive. But when properly cared for it is a sweet aroma and useful for many things.

Wild rose outside the window.

This wild rose was trying to grow in the wrong spot. I know, I know, plants are supposed to know these things, like where to grow and when, but not this guy. Perhaps that is why it is called a wild rose. I saw it and dug it up and put it in a proper place. It needed the sunshine and shelter of the spot right outside the window. It also happens to be now right where our family can see it every day and enjoy its beauty. In the fall it will give us fruit, but only now because its in the right spot where it can get what it needs.

Concord grapes just forming on the vine

Last year, we decided it was time to really prune back the grapevines. They are so overgrown after years of not being tended. We still were getting fruit from them, but the trellis supporting them had become rotten and needs to be rebuilt. It is such a tangle of vines that in order to rebuild we really needed to cut it down completely just to sort it out. I had read about it and was glad to learn that grapes are very resilient and would grow back even better than before, but still I was hesitant. Grapes only grow on second year vines and I didn't want to miss out on the fruit.

Last fall we decided it was time though, and I cut the vines back alot. It was hard work and felt somewhat emotional to me. I remembering being upset that I had to do it, but didn't feel qualified for the task. I had tried and tried to find someone to do it for me. Someone who knew how to prune back old tangled vines, but I couldn't find anyone. Finally deciding it was my mess to deal with, I went to work. After two days of work, I finished most of the cutting with the intent of doing more in early spring as we rebuilt the trellis. And then spring came, and it was wet and cold and the planting took longer than we anticipated and the trellis never happened. And last week after the storm I found the vines were suddenly green and bearing fruit. More fruit than I could've even imagined. And I am not afraid of pruning anymore, since I've seen with my own eyes what it can produce.

Snow Peas in Bloom

I love growing peas. Their vines are graceful, their flowers dainty. They grow little pods full of sweetness all packaged up like a gift. All the while it gives back to the soil nutrient rich nitrogen. Carefully fixing the nitrogen deep down so it will stay put until it is needed for another plant. I check on them each day and they remind me of how I want to be. They whisper growth right down into me.

The Boys

2011-06-15T18:53:00.000-05:00

Hen likes to have toast and tea. In real life too.

Why does a two year old like such a thing? Because his favorite book is currently The Two Towers by Tolkien. I can not distinguish the why of his love for this book. It could be that he loves when his papa reads to him for way too long before bedtime. All of them really revel in that attention and time when papa tucks them all in and then lies down on the floor (at their level at last?) and reads to them.

It could also be that Hen, small as he is, just knows what he likes. He doesn't seem to know he's only two. Yesterday at baseball, as we were packing up to go, we looked around and couldn't find Hen. He was just with me the second before...it only takes a second! We quickly found him in the crowd weaving his way over to someone. He looked determined. I quickly followed and got to him just as he approached the snack lady and said, "May I please have some pretzels?" She looked a little shocked. I was a tad embarassed. But hey! He saw something he wanted and decided to go ask for it. I say that's pretty mature. And such nice manners.

The two older boys have been busy in their world of play. Our days are spent reading good things, working alongside one another, and playing. Sometimes the playing is outside exploring, sometimes it's inside with toys or make believe. They have been working on their friendship, and although they have always been close, it's getting better still. They are more aware now of how their actions affect each other and I see them at times thinking of the other person instead of only themselves. Good stuff.

After yesterday's baseball practice. Two happy boys.

And little Owl? (Not pictured) Well...he's often found curled up in my lap these days. Yeah. It's that five year old thing that happens....remember that? Where he wants to embrace the independence and often does, but at the same time wants his mama more than ever. I'm glad to receive such love just now. Mothering is just my cup of tea. What a gift.

Figuring It Out

2011-06-14T10:02:00.000-05:00

Wow, what a week it's been. A storm blew through after all the heat we had and we spent the following day cutting wood. We lost two huge tree limbs, and one of the trees might not make it as a result. Yet, we felt spared. We have so much to be thankful for and considering how scary the storm seemed we are glad no one was hurt. The rest of the week was filled with more planting, weeding and watering, in the garden and in our hearts. Life is such an adventure. I never want my boys to stop learning, to stop trying, to stop loving. So I won't stop either!

We headed up to my parent's place for a quick visit on Sunday and now are home for a new week. Today is the first day of baseball. J bought himself a new glove. I love watching the boys play catch with their papa. I love watching J play with our kids.

The strawberries are ripening. We picked our first bowl this morning for breakfast.

Yesterday I balanced the checkbook. I feel like I deserve a cookie for this. Seriously. But that would defeat the purpose of my recent working out. The kids and I walked three miles yesterday. I pushed the double stroller the whole way with the littlest two in it! And today I walked again with a friend of mine, who has blessed me with a willingness to get out there with me in the wee hours of the morning. I think I rolled out of bed at 4:40 this morning. I told the boys we'd definitely need to rest before baseball tonight, and I'm hoping I make it until then. (don't sit down, don't sit down....)

And, well, that's all really. There are plans of course. I'm hoping to do a baking day soon followed by a cooking day. I'd like to get some things in the freezer for later use. I plan on enjoying this summer in whatever way we can!

It's Hot!

2011-06-07T21:38:00.001-05:00

Today was the second day of temperatures in the high 90's here. For us that's hot. Well, for anyone that's hot! It's been a long two days, but only one more to go according to the forecast! Today to beat the heat we went out for lunch and lingered over cold drinks. We went to the library and actually hung out there. (yes, I am a "get in, get what you need, get out" kind of person with four kids at the library most days) We had shut the house up early, early today to keep the "cooler" air in, but by 2:00 it was 85 in here. We were droopy.

Then, J came home a bit early and walked in the door saying, "Come on, we're going out for pizza!" Whoo hooo! So we headed out again and found refuge in a glass of rootbeer and the cold local pub that has awesome homemade pizza. Then off to the lake for a quick dip and home to baths and bedtime.

I just wandered in from watering the garden. It is amazing how we survive these kinds of days just fine. I know many people in the world are always hot and hungry and more. But we are not so used to it, since it's only springtime here and the spring has been cool and wet.

Also, just wanted to say, that I'm sorry I haven't written more, but I just don't have it in me right now. I don't do things half heartedly most of the time, and the blog just hasn't seemed worth my time right now. I love to write. I love that some of you check in with us through my writing and photos. I love that it is a record of our days. Words to remember for us. Yet, it is an investment from this end, and I have to admit that there is only so much of me. I think I may be in a season of feeling like I need to invest more in the moment. More "right here" in this small sphere that's been given to me. And honestly that is more than enough for me! :)

So we'll see. We'll see what happens with the writing. Know that I've been making rugs and crocheting flower barrettes like crazy. I just haven't posted them on here for awhile. Maybe someday, I'll give you a peek.

Riches

2011-06-02T17:27:00.001-05:00

Turns out we are "house rich". Who knew? Seems, I'd guess, from many perspectives, living in this old house with all the many many unfinished or in-need-of-repair things would make us anything but rich. And it's true that we are so rich in so many ways. Our house is such a huge blessing!

House rich just means that we are paying way more than we should be...according to Dave Ramsey...the percentage of earnings that you spend on your mortgage should be about 30% of your monthly income. Oops. Ours is almost 75%. That being said, I think we've done a wonderful job living and feeding six people on so little without going into debt. Don't you think?

So....we've realized how much we need to make this house worthwhile. I mean it is. But you know. We have to use what we have to make up for the income that we just don't have right now! (Still hugely blessed!) Which brings me to the garden. If you haven't noticed we've been pretty busy. And here is what we have to show for it.

Strawberries. Tons of strawberries, just forming now...

Broccoli. Yum.

Lettuce. Can't remember the variety. Isn't it pretty?

Beets. Hurray!

A favorite spot of the boys while mama is working in the garden. The seat watches over the hen house, which is always fun. The more coveted seat is on the blanket in the dirt next to me, the digger of bugs. I'm actually after the quack grass roots (yes, i've dug up the entire garden by hand this year) but don't tell the boys. They think it's cool that I am looking for bugs. We've read several books about garden pests this year and finally found a good one that has photos of bugs in their larval stage too. Can you just picture us all puttering out in the dirt. One boy finds a caterpillar and the other flips through the book looking for it's name. There is so much learning going on over here!

Tonight, we have a pizza night planned, which includes early bedtimes for the littles and some time for J and I to connect. (here's hopin' one of us won't fall asleep as soon as we sit down!) The boys have been staying up so late working and playing outside. Somehow, nine-thirty has become the standard bedtime, and my early risers have been sleeping in!

Oh, one more thing...the boys wanted me to tell you that they cut down a tree this weekend. It's true they did. (with lots of help) We cut down a tree that was causing some damage to the garden and a neighboring tree. The boys sawed the pieces apart and hauled them to the woodpile all afternoon. I'm so proud of my little men. And so thankful that I am able to teach them the joy of hard work and living to serve one another.

It's finally Spring

2011-05-24T16:24:00.000-05:00

I stand under the apple blossoms and feel as if there is a wedding happening all around me. Such extravagant beauty must be the beginning of something wonderful.

The currant bush that I have babied since we moved into this dear old house. My dad says that grandma used to have one in the backyard and she would make currant jelly in the spring.

The herb garden.

We took a break from all the planting and headed for the lake.

Skipping stones.

Checking out the bugs.

Brothers.

What a difference a year makes. He's keeping up with the big boys now when we hike. He knows many different bird calls now and is eager to stop and take a closer look.

We watched the turtles basking. There were many very small ones (babies?) but this big guy sat still for me to photograph. It was fun to watch them swim in the algae water and poke their little heads up for air. We also hunted for frogs but never spotted one. We could hear a bullfrog though so we know he's out there somewhere. Maybe we'll find him next time.

these past few days

2011-05-22T20:42:00.001-05:00

I was going to take the easy way out and load up all the photos of the beauty from our days. There are so many beautiful moments these days. I thought when you saw them, not only would you get to share in our thankfulness, but then you would also understand why I haven't been taking time to write it all out here on the blog. But unfortunately blogger is not cooperating (again) and I can not upload photos. *sigh*

And I did want to share with you faithful few that check in with us here about our happenings. So...

It's apple blossom time. The petals are starting to fall now, in the heat and wind that has been these last two days the scent just fills the yard and beckons you to linger near it's branches. It's my favorite time of the year.

We've been working almost non-stop in the vegetable garden. We have so much more cultivated and planted this year than we ever have before. I'm so thankful for the opportunity to grow things for our table! The boys have been so so helpful. Not just helping randomly for a few minutes but really helping. Hauling things to the compost, digging up grubs, weeding, sewing seed, watering. I'm so proud of them and so thankful for their help! My hands are so sore from "double digging" and pulling out all the quack grass roots from under the soil. It is so worth the work but I've been having to ice my right hand throughout the day it is so swollen and sore from overuse!

We also planted blackberry and raspberry bushes this spring. I'm so excited to see if we get a harvest this year. There are flowers already so I'm hoping and praying the birds won't get them before we do!

J and I, when not working in the garden, have been going through the Dave Ramsey financial peace university course. It's been really good. We have been always pretty good with our money, thanks to J, but this course is really fantastic. We are learning to communicate more about how we spend what we spend and are much more conscious about where the money goes. Good stuff.

And well, I'm not sure what else to tell you. I've been reading alot. I just reread the Laura Ingalls books this week. (during the boys' quiet time) It is funny how a book can grow a person up. If you don't know what I mean then just forget I said that. But if you do, then I'll tell you that I admit I feel more grown up with every reading of those books.

And in general life is really really good. I just feel like I am not sure I need to always be telling the world what I think. :) So I've been over here just taking it all in. Listening more, talking less? Stopping and thinking more. Stopping and listening more. Stopping and holding him more. Watching more. It's not natural to me. But life is not an emergency. I'm slowing down and taking it one step at a time for now.

The sun set as I wrote this. Purple clouds settling in to night sky now.

Maybe I'll be able to share photos with you tomorrow if I find the time.
love and goodnight,
reba

Owl's 5th birthday

2011-05-18T20:45:00.000-05:00

I can't believe he is five.

Our sweet Owl. So happy. So talkative. So snuggly. So interested in knowing more, patiently asking me questions all the day. I could not be prouder of you, my boy.

Owl requested a buffalo cake. It was really fun to make!

Chocolate Buffalo Birthday Cake.

Blowing out the candles!

The day after his party, his actual birthday, we all headed to the zoo! Before we went we had star wars pancakes. Of course.

Visiting the buffalo. Or bison. I never have understood the difference.

Little Hen walked the entire zoo. J and I felt free, yet strange, going there without a stroller or backpack or sling. Our brood is really growing up!

Owl strolling. It is really amazing having your own personal Christopher Robin.

Outdoor Times

2011-05-10T22:18:00.000-05:00

Another week has been lived out! We spent many days outdoors, the weather finally cooperating. Although you can see that Owl has is winter coat on still (above). It was an evening of play and it was only in the forties, damp and cold. The littles had much fun blowing bubbles together and the older two had fun with playing Badminton. (I admit I had to look up the spelling for that) We have had so much fun playing with the new Badminton rackets and even put up the net one day. (thanks Grandma J)

We've spent many evenings outside trying to get a little more work done in the garden and watching over our hens. Last week J spent much time and muscle on moving the chicken fence so the birds could have fresh pasture. There is a lot of rock under the soil and it was hard work getting all the posts in. Then the very next day, a Cooper's hawk attacked the hens. It happened just as we were coming outside to play! Badger was the first one out and yelled to scare it away but it didn't seem to care. Thankfully, I had let Millie out to run for a bit so when she arrived on the scene the hawk flew up to a nearby tree. The bird was wounded, missing lots of feathers and had a gash on her neck. Poor thing. We were quite shook up by it and kept watch all that day. The hawk came back several times to try again, but the frightened hens wouldn't come out of their coop. Smart birds.

The hawk tried again a few days later, but I think it has learned that it can't actually carry a bird off as tasty as the idea might seem. The second bird was injured too, but they are both mending nicely. The up side to this whole thing is that the hawk has nested on the edge of the woods. The nest is plainly visible to us from our yard and it's been really cool being able to watch him.

The picture doesn't do the bird justice. The nest is quite large. And yes, we think there is a nested pair as we've seen two at a time. There is also a sharp shinned hawk in the area too. Same color pattern, smaller size. We've gotten quite good at identifying them now and the boys can even identify several of its calls. Isn't learning at home cool?

Here he is just leaving the nest!

The warm weather has settled in (crossing my fingers) and we had a watermelon this weekend to celebrate! The garden has seedlings popping up everywhere! And there are 30 chicks brooding in the chick house! God is good. And spring is here!

A garden day

2011-05-04T20:26:00.000-05:00

Spring is good for the soul. Digging in the garden helps me to breathe deep. After I tilled up the potato patch today, I stepped back, faithful shovel in hand, and looking at the fresh black dirt.... I just felt a sense of release. Like a long, slow, deep breath.

It has been such a cold spring here. Days in the garden have been few and far between. But today we spent all day outside digging in the dirt! Today the sun was shining warmth and goodwill on us and the flowers opened their petals in thanks!

Of Birds and Wheat

2011-04-29T19:40:00.001-05:00

Hen, little Hen. My just turned two little bundle of wonder and words and love. Little Hen bosses around our dog. Our big, shaggy Labradoodle whose tail often knocks things off the coffee table. The same dog that sometimes makes Badger, our eight year old, tumble over backwards, when they are playing outside in the yard. She is a really exuberant dog. (which we like. alot. she's great!) But back to the point here. Hen bosses her around. All the time. "No Millie", "Down Millie", he'll say. Or when she comes too close to me for Hen's liking he'll come over to her and push her out of the way. She totally obeys him. Which is too funny. Once my friend and I were on the phone and she heard Hen bossing around Millie and she said something like, "It's so good that Badger can tell Millie what to do like that." And I sheepishly admitted to her, "No that's actually my two year old talking in that loud bossy voice!"

Today we were out tilling the soil a bit in the garden and we let four of the laying hens into the fenced in area to eat grubs and dandelions. Hen loves the chickens and all the boys have hand fed them since they were little chicks. Today one of the chickens was getting really friendly with me as I turned the dirt over. She knew there were bugs in it for her you see. Hen was right there with me when the friendly bird went right up to him and pecked his finger. He just stood there totally freaked out. His poor thumb bled, the cuticle badly bruised. I gently reminded him to not let the birds get his fingers, how the bird probably thought it looked like a worm, and how he was going to be okay that his thumb would heal. Then a little bit later, the same "friendly" bird came up to Hen again. This time Hen followed my advice and crossed his arms in front of him to keep his fingers safe, and the bird pecked his arm. (hard) Hen was so afraid and the bird continued pecking him on his blue jeans and feet until I pushed it out of the way with my shovel. For goodness sake! The boy is terrified now! The boy can boss around the giant dog but freezes in terror over a chicken. I couldn't help but think that if he could've just found his voice, his big, boss the dog around voice then the bird would've run for the hills!

And you know me, I am a teacher by nature and can't help but see myself in this. I do this same "losing my voice" thing all the time. I spend so much energy on things that seem big but are actually not battles...and then when a real battle comes along I just stand there in fear!

Which brings me to the next thing. I have been feeling like we need to fix our diet for awhile now. But it has seemed like such a small thing. And lately it has come up over and over again in conversation and I feel convicted about it. So....

We are starting a gluten free diet very soon. Sunday probably. Monday for sure. Why? Oh, I've got reasons. I might tell you about them sometime. But for now....I'm going to focus on remembering how important this small thing can actually be and how it is so worth a trial time to see if it helps us. We are going to aim for 6 weeks without gluten. I'm not sure yet how strict I will be. I don't want the kids to really rebel about it so I'm going to let them eat pizza at the pizza party we have on Wednesday. I'm going to try to stay balanced about it, but still really striving for completely gluten free because I think that is actually the easiest way to do it!

Have any gluten free recipes for me? I'd love to add to my few. Leave me a comment!

Just a glimpse...

2011-04-25T16:25:00.000-05:00

We had a really nice Easter weekend. My parents came to spend the weekend with us and we cooked together and played together. I think the boys had a really fun time! Sunday after church we had an egg hunt in the backyard. My dad orchestrated the whole thing and the boys loved it! Here's a few from the adventure.....

Hen loved it, but thought there should've been more eggs I think.

Badger took it a little too seriously perhaps? This picture makes me laugh!

Hen looks so goofy! And so do the other boys actually. But I still love these photos. My kids are goofy and I love that about them!

Snapshot

2011-04-20T21:34:00.000-05:00

We've had good days these past few. Family from afar to play with, to eat with, to just be with. So good that the boys are beaming still, even after they are gone. Such a blessing to spend time with them. And also, for little old me, at some point afterward I just feel like I need a good long nap. :) Anytime I spend a chunk of time with people really, I find I need to have some time to recharge. Ideally alone time is what I want. Time to sit on the bed and watch the sky through the maples bare branches just now showing buds. Time to read and soak up what my soul needs. Time to meander through the yard and see what is peeking up through the dirt just now. (although there is still some snow out there from this late storm)

And it is not what the boys need. After being with people they want me. :) To tell their stories to. To snuggle them in. To read with and sit with and laugh with. I love it that they want me. But you see how the timing is just not what my own little self would want at that particular moment.

And honestly, my own little self, can be not so little about it. I can be downright grumpy if I dwell on me and myself, you know? I've been more aware of how just shifting my focus to them and their little faces and hands and selves makes me much less grumpy when alone time is what I crave.

And today I chose them. And it felt so good. The boy asked me to cut him an apple just when I was thinking of myself, and at first I sighed and felt the old selfishness rise up within me. His reaction caught me off guard. He noticed right away what I was struggling with and said, "It's okay mom, you don't have to cut it up. I'll just eat it whole."

And I had this snapshot flash in my mind's eye. Of my grandma peeling apples by the kitchen sink, big oak ivy hanging in the window that overlooked the barn. All the peel in one big circle and how she fed me slices graciously even though she was filling a pie. And her fingers peeling, peeling and cheeks all wrinkled like great maps of rivers and all the love that was given to me in those slices of apples.

I flash back to his little face. I grab the moment quick to make sure the connection stays close. "You know what? I'd love to peel you an apple!" And I get one, all green and yellow and I sit down plate in my lap. And for a moment I am struck by how beautiful the green apple is in my lap, black skirt setting it apart. I see my own hands peel and I wonder if he'll remember the shape of my fingers and the peeling just for him. He sits next to me and offers me a slice. We grin at each other.

After he leaves the room, all filled up, another picture flashes in my mind. It's not photo-like, more of a sketch of me. Me sitting peeling the apple and how the beauty isn't of the green apple and the black skirt and purple socks, light shining through the window, but of me dying to self and being filled up with God's love. And it's like God says to me...this is what makes you beautiful. This is what I see. This is what I will remember.

I am humbled by this, and have more opportunities all afternoon to practice it. The lesson is life long and runs deep. And I want to learn it more. And, well, that's all really.

Another Fun Cake!

2011-04-18T10:26:00.000-05:00

A Hoth Wompa Cave Cake complete with an upside down Luke Skywalker.

Made with the Chai Tea Spice Cake and cream cheese frosting. The bottom is a bundt cake, with a piece cut out and set to the side. The bundt cake is topped by a 9 inch round to make the cave shape.

Badger graciously let me use his lego guys and J helped me place them just right. Pretty soon Luke Skywalker is going to use the force to get his light saber unstuck from the snow and escape, remember?

The birthday boy was pleased. We had a fun family party for him and he said it was the best birthday ever!

For more photos of decorative birthday cakes I've made click here.

Chai Tea Cake

2011-04-15T23:37:00.000-05:00

Waiting for the cake to cool. Thought I'd pass this one on to you, because it's that good! It was originally given to me by my long lost friend, Jack, but I've made some adaptations. So, here we go....

Chai Tea Cake

5 tea bags of good quality chai tea (i used Stash)
1/2 c. milk
1 stick of butter (i use unsalted)
1 c. sugar (i use organic sucanat, but brown sugar would work, and I suspect honey would too, although decrease amount to 3/4c. if using honey)
3 eggs (room temp is best)
1 2/3 c. flour
2 1/2 tsp. baking powder
1 t. cinnamon
1/2 t. ginger
1/2 t. salt

Preheat oven to 350degrees. Prepare 9 inch round pan by greasing and flouring. (makes a nice bundt cake if the recipe is doubled)

Over low heat, heat milk until small bubbles appear. Remove from heat and add tea bags. Let the mixture cool and squeeze out the tea bags into the milk.

In a separate large bowl, combine butter and sugar until the sugar is dissolved. Add eggs and whisk together. Add milk and tea mixture. Whisk until combined.

In separate bowl mix together dry ingredients. Then add to wet and stir until combined. Pour into prepared pan and bake. The 9 inch pan takes about 30 minutes. The bundt pan a little longer, like 45 minutes. (Check it with a toothpick to make sure the middle is done.)

This is delicious as is! But it looks extra nice with a bit of powdered sugar sprinkled on top.

I'm about to make the one pictured above and it's partner (a 9 inch round) into a Star Wars Hoth Cave cake for Cricket's birthday brunch tomorrow. :) I'll try to post pictures tomorrow of the finished cake!

Singing

2011-04-13T13:45:00.001-05:00

Wow, it's all going so fast! This week has been full, full, full! The boys have their homeschool co-op musical tomorrow! We've had lots of rehearsals and when we're not singing and dancing with our friends, we are outside enjoying the springtime weather!

The days have been so good lately. We raked the entire yard (huge yard) and the boys used their big metal dumptrucks to take the leaves to the compost. Fun! We have had quiet times out on the big blanket in the sunshine, which is just so relaxing and fun to do together. I love the conversations that happen when we are outside doing nothing. "Oh mom, look at that bug. Oh mom, did you hear that bird?...."

We are trying to be disciplined with our early morning routines of chores, math, history while we fold laundry....that kind of thing. I feel like the boys are starting to see how nice it is to actually have a tidy house and as a result are more interested in helping out with picking up and doing dishes, etc.

And most importantly in our news, Cricket is turning 7. Tomorrow. On musical day. He is super excited and also a little bummed to have to "share" the day. (oh well, sharing is good) He has planned a cake for me to make and it's going to be fun! I'll tell you the flavor, spice cake with cream cheese frosting, but you'll have to tune back in soon to see what the cake will look like. It IS Star Wars related but I don't think you'll guess it!

That's all for now. Just wanted to check in. Especially for my mom, who has been traveling and probably is yearning for an update of the boys. Sorry no pics for now, mom.....soon though. Soon.

Finding Words

2011-04-08T16:23:00.001-05:00

The week has happened, and I have not written. It was a week of mulling it over I suppose. A week of practicing being present in the moment. A week of writing down what I'm thankful for so that my perspective stays as it should, focused on the Giver of good things.

It has also been incredibly busy. Or...maybe....it feels busier when I am needing time with my J, and life and work are happening and the connecting is done in such small moments that it feels all too quick. The look and smile we share over breakfast when Hen says something funny. The brushing past each other while one does the dishes and the other grabs a cup of coffee. The settling in on the couch way too late hoping we will spend time together but both of us falling asleep almost as soon as we sit down. The quick smile and kiss in the morning before we both stumble out of bed to put the little one on the potty and to let the dog out. It all goes so fast.

But still, my soul feels more at peace these days. I feel contented. Life is so good. God is so good. I recently read a quote, and I'm sorry that I can't remember it word for word...but it was something like...true joy is found only when the soul truly believes that God is good....and I wonder if that isn't true.

Tomorrow, we shall have a weekend! (hopefully!) and then perhaps I'll fill you in with pictures from our week and tell you of our latest adventures. Signing off for now, with love......
--reba

A Long Weekend

2011-04-03T20:29:00.000-05:00

A thunderstorm is just about to roll through here....so I only have a few minutes to write....my thoughts too are still a bit jumbled from the long weekend. J had to work late, like past bedtime, on Thursday and Friday and all day Saturday and part of the day today. And he's back to work for a full week again tomorrow. He's gotta be exhausted, poor guy, but of course he's upstairs doing bedtime now, because he knows that a mama on double duty for four days needs a break, and also because I'm sure he misses those little rascals that are our four boys.

I have learned so much about myself this past week. It is not fun stuff actually so I'll spare you. But let me say that one good thing that I did learn was that I *can* be with my kids all day and night by myself and still love being in their company. (I always knew this, but yet I didn't you know?) It takes a little bit of mental preparation for me....and a good deal of self control to step fully into the hard moments that come instead of stepping away, which just makes it so much worse for everyone. If I see things clearly, and really look at this whole motherhood business as an opportunity to serve, then surprise, surprise! It works! And I find a sense of peace and contentment like I've never known before. Anyway, I'm tired so perhaps this isn't making any sense....

We did have a great night last night. The boys and I worked out in the garden all day yesterday. Raking dead leaves and hauling loads to the compost. Turning over rocks to investigate bugs. Taking care of the hens. And cutting wood in preparation for our campfire last night. We roasted hot dogs and made smores. We played baseball and rode bikes. We told stories and shared hopes for a summertime filled with more wonderful times together. And this morning there were egg sandwiches and watching building shows in our jammies and a good time of talking and praying together.

So many blessings. So much to be thankful for. And here the thunder comes. So, goodnight!

This Spring Day

2011-03-30T20:19:00.003-05:00

Breakfast with berries and cream is always a good way to start out the day. J made the coffee, I made the waffles. The boy cleaned the berries and we were all set. I love breakfasts together. It is rare for us to be able to eat together on the days that J works, without it feeling rushed. I have been making a better effort to get up early and just get breakfast started earlier, and it is making our mornings much nicer. (note to self, getting up early is not just for "me time", I can get up early to help others too)

We made an effort to finish some things we've been working on and get them out of the way early in the day. So we tackled math and history and cleaning. Go team! The littlest two were kept busy with this novel idea....

A Balloon!

They had so much fun!

They played for about an hour while I cleaned the kitchen and did laundry. I think I'm finally caught up from being sick over the past month. Honestly. I get behind like that and it takes forever to get caught up again!

After lunch, we headed outside to play. The sunshine was so warm, the sky so blue. The grass was dry enough to sit on while I weeded the asparagus bed. I cut fire wood. (for real) They had some jedi training going on.

There was some bird watching...or maybe he was being a spy....

Then we headed inside for quiet times and I have to say the new couch was incredibly helpful with this today. No one grumbled a bit and they all rushed to get a good spot on the couch! After we rested, it was time to get to work on dinner! Hen helped with the rolling out of the dough.

Have you ever seen such a cute kitchen helper?

We made chicken artichoke calzones, one of J's favorites.

And while we were at it, we made a pizza for later, and this spinach garlic cheese bread.

After dinner, I was able to go for a long walk with Millie. It must be spring! It was still light out when I got home and my soul just felt lighter knowing that longer days are here. I don't always realize how much the darkness of winter affects me while it's happening. The sunshine of spring, the light of the longer days....it's like it thaws me from the inside out. It's such a fantastic feeling of renewal.

Crocus blooming, and hollyhock's green growth.

The New Couch

2011-03-29T21:00:00.000-05:00

Do you remember this post from way back when? You know, the one where I tell you about getting rid of our old couch? Well, J's back is much better for it, but I'll openly admit that my temper had a rough time with the whole thing. I won't give you any excuses, because...well...I was being selfish and impatient. But I will say, that it was back in January when we got rid of that old couch, and we sat on the floor for two months before I finally moved the old daybed in.

Now, the daybed is not quite as bad for J's back as the couch, but it's not comfortable and it only seats three. As you know, there are six in our family, so inevitably someone (or several someones actually) have been sitting on the floor for a good three months now. And for the record, the daybed belonged to my grandmother who died when I was thirteen. So if that tells you at all, what kind of shape it's in.....

And here's the thing....all of this really shouldn't have been a big deal. I mean, people in other countries sit on the floor all the time. We have a warm house. And blankets and the ability to keep the floor clean and dry. Yet, everyday I found myself getting grumpier and grumpier about there being no real furniture in our living room. And the grumpier I got, the more entitled I started to feel. I started thinking about how we have never boughten furniture since we've been married more than ten years ago. How we really should have furniture so we can have people over and they will feel comfortable. How my children should be able to have a clean, comfortable place to sit.

And you know what? All of those thoughts really are just a big charade for my pride. Because wasn't me wanting other people to be comfortable really about how embarrassed I felt when a friend was here and instead of sitting on our "couch of blankets" (where we sat everyday) she dragged a chair from the other room so she could sit down? I admit I felt humiliated. But I wouldn't have felt that way, if I was really interested in her being comfortable would I have? Really. It just all boils down to me thinking I deserve nice furniture because of my pride.

And somehow, while I was scanning Craigslist for furniture, I realized that it is the same lesson that I have been learning over and over again these past few years. Yes. The lesson about not having a bath tub and feeling entitled. The lesson about not having kitchen cabinets or a sink that doesn't leak and feeling entitled. And I wonder....what have I missed that I keep having to learn this over and over again?

And this time through....this same lesson....I see God at work in me more. I was more willing to wait until J was ready to spend the money. I was still impatient at times, yes, but I was much better than I have been before. I prayed about it and waited to see what God had for us. I waited. And waited.

Then finally, two days ago we spotted on Craigslist this sectional for a very small amount of money that was very close to what we had been looking for and J said, "Yes! Let's get it!" So I went through all the communications with the seller and set everything up for delivery, only for the man to never call us back and disappear entirely. I was so disappointed. But only for a minute! Because, the very same day another sectional was listed and this time it was exactly what we wanted and even though we were not the first ones to reply to the ad, the woman picked us. Today J went to pick it up and it just barely fit into our van. After much effort we got it through the skinny old front door and voila! Our new couch.

There's actually a spot for everyone in the family and then some! It's so fantastic!

And it's clean and nice and the kids love it. We all sat on it before bedtime tonight and J read aloud to us.

And the lesson? Well....all I can say is that I can see more clearly these days, how God takes care of us. I know to some people all these things seem like coincidences, but I choose to believe that it is The Shepherd leading us to good things. I hope the next time this lesson comes round to be able to trust even more, and as a result to just rest peacefully during the waiting....knowing that it will all work out somehow for our good and for His purpose.

Crochet Handbag

2011-03-28T20:03:00.000-05:00

I whipped this up last week one night. I had no intention of making a handbag. In fact, I thought I was crocheting some washcloths to give to a friend. I love how this cotton yarn is to work with, and became charmed with the color. It seemed too pretty to make into a washcloth, so J suggested I make a bag. I'm glad he did!

I crocheted a few flowers to add to it and I like how old fashioned they look.

Now all I have to do is figure out a closure for it. I thought about a button, but it seemed too clumsy for the design. I'd like to make a loop and "knob" (you know like a fancy bump that goes through the loop and holds it in place) out of yarn, but I don't know how yet! Any of you crafty ones reading this have a suggestion for me?

Children's Stained Glass Window Project

2011-03-25T11:05:00.000-05:00

Take a peek at what we've been up to this week!

I found the idea for this at The Crafty Crow. (which you really should check out if you haven't already for tons of beautiful crafting ideas!) The window is made with colored tissue paper and glue. It's that simple. We used Elmer's washable school glue and watered it down a bit so that it was easier to paint on the window. (and yes, I tested it and the dried paper and glue wash off the window really easily)

The boys loved this project. It is such a sensory experience, painting on the glue, touching the wet tissue paper, smoothing it out with the paint brush. Also, it is a really great way to learn about color. We were surprised by all the beautiful colors you can create by layering different colors of tissue paper on top of one another.

The bonus for this project is that it hides from our sitting room, the mess that is my porch right now. I am going through a process of simplifying the house, which means getting rid of unneeded things. The porch is holding all of the things that will soon be part of our garage sale, as soon as the weather is nice enough.

Here's what it looked like at the end of day one.

And here it is finished! The boys had fun cutting out different shapes. There is a bird, a lobster, a spider, a fish....and many others.

I am so pleased with how this turned out. Sometimes the easiest projects can be the most beautiful!

A Backyard Flock

2011-03-22T21:43:00.001-05:00

A good friend of mine is thinking about getting some chickens and asked me a few questions about getting started. I've been asked about our backyard flock quite a few times and thought I'd answer the basic questions here for you.

Having your own chickens is a wonderful thing! They are beautiful, interesting creatures and having fresh eggs is amazing. They taste so much better, are better for baking, and are much more nutrient dense. We purchase day old chicks, which arrive in the mail, and start them from there. Raising them from chicks is much more cost effective than raising them from the egg although I always think that part would be really fun to watch. The day old birds are so sweet.

They need heat, light, clean bedding, fresh water and feed and a little bit of attention. Keeping them clean and free of drafts is really the most important thing. They feather out in about two weeks and then are ready for a little more room but still should be in the brooder for a bit yet. Once they are about 6 weeks old we put them in the hen house and out in the yard.

checking out the coop at about 6 weeks

an Auracana, a colored egg layer...the shells can be pink or green or blue

We have a coop to keep them safe at night from predators and weather. A coop is a good thing, but chicken tractors are also really effective and perhaps better suited to a small backyard flock. Here is a great link to learn more about chicken tractors including tons of photos and ideas.

Our flock in their yard...they like the nettles and fallen apples

Our Auracana Rooster...isn't he a beauty? ...and no you don't need a rooster to get eggs!

After about 16 weeks (give or take) they will start to lay eggs. At which point you need to change their feed to a laying ration. The first eggs will be really small, but wow is it ever exciting to find that first little treasure! In a few more weeks they whole flock will be laying and the eggs will start to be normal size, although still medium in size. The eggs increase in size as the bird matures, and you can especially notice a growth in size after the bird molts.

A "first" egg next to eggs of hens that have been laying for a few weeks

A laying flock will produce for a few years if kept in good health, and generally you can expect 2 eggs a day from every 3 hens. That's what they say in all the books anyway, but we have several days a week where we get an egg a day for each hen. In the winter, chickens need a well protected, yet well ventilated space including fresh water that isn't frozen and extra feed. This can be tricky in Wisconsin, but our flock layed throughout the winter and only now went into a molt which is normal to do once a year. (we are still getting 8 eggs a day as opposed to 15) Get your hands on a good book to guide you through this and other questions you may have. The one we like is Storey's "A Guide to Raising Chickens".

One other thing I get asked all the time is if having chickens is cost effective. Yes! Having hens saves us money. When compared to buying organic eggs at $3.80 a dozen we pay about $14 for a bag of feed which lasts us about a week. We supplement with pasture and fruit and vegetable scraps from our kitchen. The water and heat is a minimal cost. If you consider that we get about a dozen eggs a day, sometimes more, sometimes less....that's 7 dozen a week. Times that by $3.80 and you are paying over $26 dollars for that many eggs. We don't use 7 dozen a week, but we are able to sell enough to cover the cost of feed so we are basically getting our eggs for free unless you count the manual labor. Which is truly not fun somedays, but other days it's such a joy! Our children have loved having chickens! They love feeding them and gathering eggs and picking berries to throw to them through the fence.

Just one more thing to mention.....
Raising birds for meat is also really worthwhile. If you eat meat, you really should know where it comes from and raising your own birds is a wonderful way to understand what it takes to bring this kind of food to the table. We raise about 60 chickens a summer for meat, with another family, and it provides for us all the chicken we use for a year, plus tons of homemade chicken stock. We do the butchering and processing ourselves. Our friends are so cool. They made a chicken plucker out of an old washing machine drum and it works super well! We now have the butchering process down pretty well and between the four of us we are able to process one batch of 30 birds, plus watch all eight of our children, in an afternoon.
We have raised the meat birds in a chicken tractor so they can be on pasture 24 hours a day. Meat birds are not the same breed of chicken as the ones used for laying. (There are dual purpose breeds, that might work for you if you have lots of land, time, and the intention of breeding your own birds. ) These birds go from brooder to butchering in 6-8 weeks. If you are interested in this, I would consult the Storey's book and find someone in your area who can guide you through this. It's not hard to raise them at all, but butchering is a different story. It takes practice and patience and is not for the faint of heart. If you choose to have the butchering done by a processing plant it really takes away from the ecnomical advantages of raising your own birds. I will say that now that we have done this, we will never go back to buying store bought chicken unless we have to!
And, yeah, I have pictures of the chicken plucker and of J plucking a bird, but I thought I'd spare you. ;)

Birthday Cake Parade

2011-03-21T20:52:00.001-05:00

Redwall Abbey Cake (from Brian Jacques' book series "Redwall")

Banana muffins with homemade animal cracker tops for a 1st birthday

Snake Cake (a timber rattler)

The Very Hungry Caterpillar Cake

Giraffe Cake (with toasted coconut)

Garbage Truck Cake

Castle with graham cracker fortress walls

R2D2

Dump Truck (modeled after a favorite Matchbox Car)

Firetruck

Not shown....the ladybug cupcakes, the pumpkin cupcakes, and this one strange cake that was supposed

to be a car but ended up looking like a bug.

......Bob the Builder, which was funny, i know, but it was such a hit with the boy!

......a bull's eye cake with arrows & a Buzz Lightyear cake (both of which can be found in the archives of this blog)

......the Scuba Diver Cake, which I apparently only took video of. Who does that? :)

.....and the Millenium Falcon, which is my personal favorite because it looked so real. If you are one of the grandma persons that attended that party and you have a picture of the Millenium Falcon (which would've been Nov. 2008) would you please make me a copy? Pretty please with sugar on top?

Alright. Now you know about my obsession with birthday cakes. I hope you still like me. Let me know, by leaving me a comment and telling me which one you like the best and feel free to leave a link to some pictures of any cool cakes that you've made. And don't forget to go back and look at the previous blog post to see Hen's Train Cake from his party this weekend!

Hen's Train Cake

2011-03-20T17:18:00.000-05:00

Two 9 inch chocolate cakes, cut in half and made into hills with track. I used the "Perfectly Chocolate Cake" recipe from the back of the Hershey's cocoa can, except I used organic ingredients, sucanat instead of sugar, and coconut oil instead of vegetable oil.

The train is made up of sugar cookies sandwiched together to make a front and back to the train. The boys helped me decorate the train cars by lending me a book and instructing me on cattle cars, and boxcars and tenders and the like. (phew!) It was really fun to make!

Happy 2nd Birthday Little Hen! We love you!

Two!

2011-03-18T19:45:00.000-05:00

Our littlest mancub turned two this week!

He's had a splendid time this week playing outside. All winter he wanted to play outside with the bigger boys, but then when it actually came down to it, he would get frustrated about walking in the snow and downright mad about falling into the snow, which is inevitable when you are two. This winter was a winter of cold, icy, hard-to-walk-in snow. And now the snow is almost gone and the season of mud has arrived! A boy's favorite season!

We are celebrating Hen's special day this weekend with family, but couldn't pass up the chance to make chocolate cupcakes on the actual day. The littlest boys and I made these, while the older two were at homeschool co-op. It was fun, but I'll admit Owl and Hen were not very into helping make them, but were very into helping to eat them. Ah, well...

He licked the chocolate buttercream off the top and tried to grab a second one, because isn't that what you are supposed to do? The cupcake must just be something to put the frosting on for ease of holding and licking!

Today we walked to the local bookstore and when we walked into the children's section Hen spotted Arnold Lobel's "Owl at Home". He pointed to it, and promptly said, "Owl at Home! Owl at Home!" The bookstore owner knows us and has been the supplier of books to our oldest boy (voracious reader) since he was 3. When he heard Hen's response to seeing the familiar book he said, "Another one? How old is he?" "Two", I said sheepishly. And yes, we've got another one, whatever that means. Having children like this (bright, gifted, amazing? i don't know what to call it?) seems "normal" to me now, and it's funny to be reminded how not "normal" it is for a just turned two year old to be talking in sentences and starting to sound out words in a book.

What a crazy journey we are on. Parenting. Loving. Living. I'm so thankful for this time I have with these Little Men. Someone I know says, "Normal is just a setting on your dishwasher" and I am finding that is so true.

It's That Time of Year Again

2011-03-14T09:44:00.000-05:00

It's that time of year again....

where the sun shines brighter and warmer and the snow gives way in most places except for the big hills left from plowing. The boys revel in it, hoping for sun and spring, and loving the wet, messy snow too...how it packs into snowballs so well now and makes icy paths for the sled to go even faster.

It's that time of year again....where little boys find things so interesting they just sit and watch, putting aside momentary differences to watch the changing season.

It's that time of year again....where the hens wake up from their winter survival mode, they rediscover fresh air and sunshine and become emboldened by it, scratching even in the snow for treasure and life.

It's that time of year again...where the man must trim back all that isn't wanted in order to make room for more growth. He works hard, breathing in the freshness, the sunshine, loving the trees enough to prune them back.

It's that time of year again, where the wife watches it all in amazement, praying he won't fall from that tree, praying for growth, looking to her own heart, pruning it back and letting things go to make room for growth.

It's that time of year again....where we hope for spring, we play as if it were spring, but the cold air makes us give up after only an hour and we come inside to warm up and be together.

And this morning....I saw the crocuses have poked their little heads up. Spring is on the way!

Saturday

2011-03-12T19:08:00.000-06:00

Hurray for Saturday! Hurrah for Saturdays that don't involve sickness or carbon monoxide! Hurray for sleeping in because it's Saturday, not because you are too ill to get out of bed!

Oh, and yeah, don't be fooled. The littlest man didn't sleep in. No way. He was up at the crack, but I didn't mind too much. He's on the way to health and I'm so glad. He is still feeling tired and needy in the afternoons, we all are really, but it just is so good to be mending and all home together. I love having Saturdays with my J home.

We went out for breakfast today, and went shopping. We came home and played.

I got outside for a brief walk by myself. The sun was out today, but it was cold. Only in the twenties I believe. Brr.

morning glories still clinging to the fence

my beloved hydrangea bush...so pretty even in the winter...

And look! Today my basil finally sprouted! It took forever! I think it was stalled because of the doors and windows being opened for so long last weekend. I think any dip in temperature like that can make the seeds rethink things. :)

Today we had a friend from church stop by. He is one of our volunteer firemen here in town, and he was here helping us last weekend. I hadn't even realized he was here while it was happening, because there was so much going on, but I was glad to hear that he was the one who took Millie out of the house and who interacted with my father-in-law. He is such a nice man. Today he brought fire helmuts and coloring books over to the boys. They were delighted! Although maybe not delighted with me when I asked for a picture. Awwww mom! said the eldest boy.

I guess he is perhaps getting a little big for such things. Crazy how fast it goes. That's the thing with parenting...you're always moving at the speed of life.

Time for a New Toothbrush

2011-03-09T19:54:00.001-06:00

We woke up to a winter wonderland this morning, although it didn't really seem that wonderful. Just yesterday I had witnessed two male cardinals fighting over a female, and I thought for sure this meant spring was on the way. Oh, how quickly a gal can forget that she lives in Wisconsin.

Today was a much better day than the previous few, in many ways really. There were chiropractor appointments (Badger had his first adjustment today and loved it!), a quick dash to the grocery store that seemed fun because we haven't been anywhere in ages, and lots of good play times. The boys even spent a good hour outside building a snow fort and having a snowball fight. I was so glad for them to be able to get outside. Of course we were greeted with many coughs and a bit of wheezing upon returning indoors, but it was worth it.

The thing is, that even though we are getting better, we are still in this funk. You know, the kind that settles in every so sneakily. The kind that comes from not being purposeful in your interactions with one another, because you are too busy, or too sick, or too prideful. The kind that comes from not doing laundry for five days, not having cooked in forever, and no one really hungry anyway. And for us this time too, just the funk of not feeling safe in our house. Yeah. Funk. Now, see, in case you were not aware of the funk, you've been introduced. Hopefully at your house you live in a world of bliss, in the land of perfectness and funk does not know your address. He totally knows ours, as he is a frequent visitor of the uninvited sort.

The worst part about it for me, is that I can work all day at repairing the funk and be making some real headway towards shoving it out the front door, and it can fly right back in when J comes home. It's not that he is some kind of ogre. Just a normal man who has strengths and weaknesses like the rest of them. He feels the funk deeply, being a creature of habit like he is, and can unfortunately not have any time during his day at work to battle the Funk at all. So when he comes home it still has its claws sunk deep into him and he walks in with this heavy burden on his back looking to me for help. Afterall, I am his loving wife and helper, nothing could be more natural.

Yet, the wife doesn't always see it this way. (ahem) See, I've been battling Funk all day and was desperately tired almost to the point of despair, watching the clock counting down the minutes until my helper came home. I was misled by the Funk and had listened to it all day telling me that as soon as Papa comes home it will be better. He is stronger and will be able to give Funk the final shove out the door and all will be well, I thought.

So....that is how it went today...he came home late, we attempted to eat leftovers, and then he complained about the little pieces of garbage that were on the floor because the trash had not been taken out properly and I lost my temper and said mean things in a less than polite tone. The kids giggled at the supper table (which means it wasn't a bad fight) but still. He was really mad that I lost my temper, and rightly so from his perspective. And I did feel really justified when I was saying those mean things, but good grief I don't anymore. The point is, that I think he might've flushed my toothbrush. Not that I've known him to do that before. In fact he is always so calm, but that is why I think he would do it. LOL. All I know is that my toothbrush is wet, and I haven't used it since morning.

And all of this mess, somehow leaves me in awe of marriage, which I know is a very strange spot to end up on after all of that. Yet....what kind of relationship is it that can sustain a toothbrush flushing? I'm not even mad about it. And it's not because I don't know if he did it or not, I just really have come to the point that I can handle it with ease. The Funk comes with interacting with one another sometimes but it doesn't ever win. We are so much one unit now, that there is this incredible flexibility. Like somehow our union has made us more able to withstand outside pressure. We can bend in one direction like crazy but we don't snap. It's just amazing to me. And we are just ordinary people. It must be that marriage is just designed really well.

Home Again

2011-03-07T12:04:00.000-06:00

We are on the mend. And home now. For those of you who maybe haven't heard yet, I apologize for not calling each of you, but we were preoccupied just getting better. What happened? We had carbon monoxide in the house on Saturday and were taken to the hospital for treatment. We are doing better now though and I thank you for your prayers and support during this rough time.

I thought I'd share our story in case it helps any of you. I pray though that you will never have to know these things but just in case you do, here's our story. First, we have the flu. We started with it on Saturday morning. Fevers, vomiting, coughs, the whole nine yards. Because of the fevers it was hard to know that we also were being exposed to carbon monoxide. We just kept thinking we were so sick because of the flu. Finally in the afternoon I lay down for a nap, and as I lay down I just had this feeling about it being CO poisoning. But I just brushed it off and took a nap anyway. When I woke up several hours later I had a screaming headache. I came downstairs to find all the kids really lethargic and Joel was sick too. Then the dog threw up. And I realized something just wasn't right. See the thing about CO sickness is it can be disorienting. So make sure to always have working CO detectors in your house. They need to be replaced every two years and check the battery every six months.

At this point I asked J to check the CO detector (which wasn't working) while I called poison control. I just wanted to find out what the symptoms were. The nurse at poison control was super helpful and suggested that we just get out of the house and drive into the bigger city nearby to get a new CO detector. He said if we felt better once we were in fresh air to just go to the emergency room. So we bundled up all the boys, opened the windows for the poor dog and drove into the city. J and I noticed that we did feel better after the drive in. But we decided to just purchase the new detector and go home and plug it in. It was so hard to know what was going on with having the flu at the same time.

When we got home the new detector went off immediately so we called the fire department and they came right away. They pulled us all into the ambulance to check our CO levels and we all had elevated levels. So they took us in two ambulances into the hospital. It was so scary. I felt so bad that I hadn't followed my instincts earlier. Watching little Hen with the oxygen bag on and little Owl, who by this time was barely awake. Ugh. It was horrible.

But the goodnews is that it was totally treatable and although we did have elevated levels it could have been much much worse. They treated us with oxygen for a couple of hours until our levels came down and they sent us home. Well not home actually, to J's parent's house. The firemen and our local utility company had checked our house out and found nothing. Isn't that strange? And even today, we had a furnace guy come and check out the house again before coming home and he found nothing too. He did install an extra fresh air vent into the house though and I feel much better about things now.

Anyway, here's what I learned about carbon monoxide in case you'd like to know. First of all, not all CO detectors are reliable. The fire department suggested that we get the kind that plug in because they are super reliable. Also, detectors should be installed lower to the ground, because CO is a heavy gas. This is one of the reasons that pets usually get sick when there is CO in the house, because they are low to the ground. When all of this was happening our kids were all sleeping on the floor, which is the worst place to be. If you think you might have CO in your house, it's best to just get out. Open some windows and doors and just get out. CO poisoning can be disorienting so it's best to just call someone for help. Don't just brush it off. I keep thinking about how we could've all just kept sleeping that night. We are so blessed to be alright.

What They're Up To

2011-03-02T21:34:00.002-06:00

I hope you'll indulge me, as I feel I need to take a moment to think about my brood and celebrate some of the growth that has happened these past few months. I find that our days get so busy, and we get so "in the flow" that I forget to stop and celebrate the growth. Yes, it's just normal growth, but it's life! And it should be celebrated. :)

Hen. Hen is going to be two soon. Hard to believe, but true. I snapped this photo of him today. He LOVES the wooden train set. In honor of his birthday, and perhaps also so that we could be a little more productive with other projects while Hen is busy, we moved the train table back into our main living area. He was thrilled. The boys think his birthday cake should be a train, and I am trying to wrap my creativity around that idea. I guess we'll see what I can come up with.

Hen and Owl are learning to be brothers. They seem to be at a stage that they either adore one another or abhor one another and I feel like I can not leave them alone for a second for fear of someone getting hurt. It can be a challenge, but I'm so glad that there is passion between them and I am hopeful that they will work through this and be the best of friends. Owl loves being a big brother, so long as Hen doesn't take something that is his. LOL.

Owl is learning how to read. He mostly likes to memorize things, but is starting to understand the sounds and even some words. He loves the idea of knowing how to read and "reads" me books before naptime. It's adorable. He's adorable. For the most part, he spends his days being quietly busy. He is active and talkative and will sit and work on a project for a good long time. He also loves to run and often can be found running from the front to the back of the house, saying, "Mama look how fast I can run!" :)

Cricket. Cricket is growing up so fast. The change between six and seven is huge. He is more dependable. More self aware. More capable. He's still the same goofy, happy child, but he is more thoughtful about other's feelings now. He is learning some self control in a few areas that have been hard for him. He's thriving at homeschool co-op, and is glad that he recently auditioned for a singing solo in the musical and got one! Whoo hoo!

And Badger. Badger also will be singing a solo in the musical. He has memorized every song already and is figuring out how to read music. He is learning to be a kind and patient brother, and is often helping me with Hen. (Hen's favorite lap is Badger's) Another really huge thing for him, is that he is starting to understand the responsibility he has for his own learning. I think because he started reading so early, he became used to me "feeding" his brain for him, since I had to preread many things before giving them to him. I also have had to "feed" his brain to keep him from getting bored and cranky. Now, he is learning about his own need in this area, and is willing to put some work into his "learning time". He's starting to understand that in order to learn some things he's really interested in, he'll have to learn certain less desirable things first, and he is willing to put some effort into these kinds of things. I feel so proud of him about this, because I don't think I figured this out until, well, yesterday.

Retreat

2011-02-27T20:15:00.000-06:00

As I write this, the boys are running wild, the man strumming his guitar fueling it all. It's so loud in here with giggles and wild singing that I can barely hear myself think. Yesterday, when I left for a day of retreat, I didn't know why I was going. It never really seems that I need a break. Now that I'm on the other side of it, hulligans running wild, I see it clearly. I needed some quiet. Some times with friends and time alone.

The retreat was with some friends from our church. Older ladies, younger ladies, all of us just seeking some time away. Time to grow closer to God. Time to listen. Time to just be. It was so good.

I drove there with a good friend and it was so nice to have time to just chat without being interrupted by a child. Between the two of us we have eight, so this is highly unusual. I had time to sit during meals and not get up fifty times to get something for someone. I had time to crochet without feeling like I should be cleaning something. I got to go for a walk by myself outside! All of this felt so luxurious, and although I honestly really love being a mother and homemaker, it was so nice to have a break just for a day.

The boys had a splendid day with papa too. They spent time with their woodworking, had a trip to the library, and played legos with papa all afternoon. I came home to find everyone all ready for bed and a general atmosphere of peace and happiness. The house however, was only 57degrees! Apparently there was some trouble with the thermostat and J hadn't time to fix it while he was watching the kids. Ah, so he did have a little bit of the experience that I have most days of trying to juggle it all. :)

He fixed it after a few minutes of my arrival home and we had a good night snuggling in together. I love this little family.

Not Feeding the Cat

2011-02-24T19:59:00.000-06:00

One day last summer, I was in the garden at twilight, weeding, tending. That's when I first saw her. This little fluffy kitten, crying this loud, growly-sad cry. She was walking right on the fringe of the woods and I so wanted to go pick her up and bring her home.

I could tell at once that she was not someone's kitten. She was so little and it didn't make sense for such a little kitten to be in the woods crying and wandering on her own. When I stood to see her better, her long grey tiger fur stood on end and she gave me a warning snarl. She was definitely not a tame kitten. I called to her, because isn't that what you do when you see a kitten that needs you? "Here kitty, kitty". No, really. That's what I did. So incredibly stupid, but truly that was my action. At that, she jumped up a tree, realized it wasn't going to work, fell, and ran into the woods without a second thought.

I saw her all last summer. Her paw prints in our sandbox (and maybe some other "proof" of her too). Glimpses of her in the sunflower patch and lying under the grapevines where the earth is cool and damp. She grew, and by fall was a lovely, long haired, tiger girl. And whenever I saw her, thriving as she was, I thought she must be someone's cat afterall. Because a "wild" cat couldn't possibly survive without a human (without me?). At least, that is what my slightly arrogant "here kitty, kitty" attitude privately thought.

A few days ago we had a doozy of an ice storm. And then yesterday I saw her again. Same long grey fur. This time at night, twenty degrees, long hair completely frozen into long drips of ice. She was in the neighbor's driveway. When she saw me through the window she ran across the road and onto another neighbor's porch. And again, I immediately thought I must do something! Wild cats can't survive with ice for fur. She must need me. I thought about how to feed her or entice her to my porch. Only to give up my schemes when my very realistic husband told me I was absolutely not aloud to put food out for her or waste the $7 a gallon milk on some cat. (cats don't even digest milk well he says)

Today I saw her footprints on my porches. Both the front and back. Oh, and she ripped the garbage bag and had some supper. So, I guess I had already unintentionally put "food" out for her. And as I cleaned up the mess and swept up the snowy pawprints I realized that I go about my life thinking that I must help all the wild cats of the world. Sometimes the wild cats are people who are in need. Sometimes they are people who really would benefit from me stepping in to aid, but sometimes it is not helpful at all, even though I think it is. Sometimes, though I am ashamed to admit it, the wild cat is a person that *I* think is in need of my help, but that's not the case at all. I wonder how often I've stepped in and "helped" when really it's just come off as me being arrogant or nosey or bossy or the like. "Here, kitty, kitty."

Oh, to see the heart of those around me. That I could truly learn to see intentions and feelings and kindness when it is there right before me. That I could set aside my own judgements of what *I* think is best or right and just look to what is True. To truly love without judgement, without having to think it all through and decide about anything. But to just love. That is what I want to learn. I so wish I had learned this at a younger age. I often feel like I am just stumbling through. Perhaps this part of the journey is just like that, and I will get better at it as I go.

Little Men

2011-02-23T20:22:00.001-06:00

Recently, a lady from our town decided to give away some old books. They had belonged to her mother who is now in her eighties. There were two bags of them. All from the twenties, published on "wartime" paper. Several Alcott, a book of poetry and other books of which I had never heard. How this woman, who I do not personally know, found me to give them to is somewhat of a mystery. And since, I think of these delicious books as valuable treasure, I am inclined to think that somehow God's hand was in this.

Today, my Badger found Little Men. He's read Little Women. Back when he was six. He loved it. I was so glad. Today he started this one and after reading about the Saturday night pillow fights, decided it was delicious too.

I delight in having a boy that loves to read as much as I do. It is such a privilege to be able to find books for him to devour. I used to think it a burden, because finding things that were age appropriate yet still engage him, has been time consuming. Now as he gets older, and I know him even better, I am finding more and more things that he is ready for and it is so amazing. He is reading and thinking and his mind is being shaped by these books. What a privilege to be part of that.

February 22

2011-02-22T19:40:00.000-06:00

All I need

2011-02-21T15:08:00.000-06:00

Still writing it down. All the gifts. Taking notice. Awakening to God's love, and seeing, really seeing that I've been given all that I need.

White roses opening, opening. Sweet smell fills the air. Given in love from my husband. Ever giving to me in so many ways.

Owl's little hands scooping seeds for the birds.

Walks with my boys.

Arms to hold them. Hands to wipe noses and dry tears.

The purple teapot.

New bird feeders.

Sleep. Cozy bed. J's warmth.

Clean water. Bath tub to hold them all. Splashes, laughter, brothers.

Yesterday's Adventure

2011-02-16T16:35:00.000-06:00

It's been crazy warm here, for Febraury. We've been outside every chance we've gotten, soaking up the sun, splashing in the puddles and reacquainting ourselves with our old friends in the woods. I've missed the trees. The snow and cold of January made it almost impossible to walk in the woods. Even yesterday when we were out, with the several days of forty degree weather the snow was up past my knee. We ventured out anyway, into the woods, to catch a glimpse at the very large bird that we've seen from the kitchen window.

The snow was so deep, and had a thick crust of ice on the top. The boys could easily walk on top of it, while I stepped in deep with every step. It was exhausting work. I pulled the sled behind me with little Hen happily settled in. We walked and walked and got stuck in the snow several times. Little Owl took the opportunity to howl and cry as much as possible. "Oh! There's snow in my boot! Oh! My glove is off again!" After a few minutes of this, I knew we would not see our prize. What bird in his right mind would stay out in clear view when such craziness is afoot.

I did see him though the day before when I took the dog out for a run. I couldn't get a good picture because he was so high up in the tree. Here's the best I could do.

What kind of bird do you think it might be? An owl? This same bird from fall? If it is the same bird then he's grown quite a bit. And in case it helps he is a noisy, noisy flyer because I've heard him take off, his giant wings making this awesome sound.

I hope the boys will get another chance to see him. I wonder if he will migrate or if he is here to stay. Our adventures will have to wait though, because it seems we are getting yet another virus. Little Hen is coughing, coughing, coughing, and the other boys are just starting with it.

Off to take care of the wee, sad, coughing man.
love,
reba

The Latest Creation

2011-02-13T19:07:00.000-06:00

The new bathroom rug.....

My crochet stitches are starting to be more consistent which helps the rug look more put together. The colors are crazy, but that is part of the fun!

What do you think? Crazy beautiful? Or just Crazy? ;)

From Where I've Come

2011-02-10T20:47:00.000-06:00

Thirty five years ago on Valentine's Day, I met my family for the first time. My mother, the one who grew me up, and my Father, the one who was there, came to meet me at my foster home. My foster parents had many children living with them. They waited until the children came home from school to say goodbye to me before they gave me away. I was loved.

My family met me that day and they didn't know what they were in for. They loved me anyway. When my mom tells me the story of meeting me that day she always says, "I remember thinking how pretty you were and how lucky we were to have such a pretty baby." (or something very close to that)

When I was pregnant with my first baby, it happened in February. Very close to the day that my own mother, the one who carried me in her belly, would have conceived me. My belly grew, and I thought of her. Her belly carrying me. Her giving me her life for those long months. And I wondered about it. I wondered what she thought. What she did. Did my kicks bring her joy? Grief? Wonder? Fear?

I have had seasons of wanting to know more. Wanting to know where I have come from. The story. The reasons, perhaps? I've wondered if the reasons would really matter. I mean, when it comes right down to it, I think maybe it doesn't really matter. The past can be like that sometimes. At least in my experience.

Recently I read a story of a woman whose name has shaped her life. It's meaning has given her meaning. And I was thinking about how we name our children so carefully. And thinking too, that I wonder if God has His own names for us. Secret names that no one knows but Him and us. We have forgotten them now, as if it were a dream perhaps. But when we see Him in heaven maybe He will call us by our real names and it will be like we suddenly remember who we really are. I like to think that.

Anyway, I got to thinking that I wonder what the real meaning of my name is. So I looked it up. My name, the one my birth mother gave me was Trisha Marie. And my name, the one my mom gave me, is Rebecca Jean.

Trisha means "of noble birth".
Marie means many things. "sea of bitterness", "rebelliousness", and "wished for child"
Rebecca means "a snare"
and Jean means "God is gracious"

When I learned of this it really mattered to me. The name my birth mother gave me, "of noble birth". "rebelliousness and wished for child". I don't know the story of why I was given up for adoption....but I do know this. God had a plan for me. I'm so grateful to the woman who carried me. I'm so glad she gave me life.

Rebecca means "snare" and I have to honestly admit that it has been a snare to me. Being adopted is wonderful. Or at least it has been for me. My parents are amazing. They have loved me deep, and let me tell you, that has not always been easy. Despite this, truthfully, a baby can not be separated from the mother who carried her without knowing. I believe I knew when I left her. My mom, the one who grew me up, used to tell me that when I was a baby I used to always sleep with my hands clenched tightly into fists. And she would always love me up and hold me and rock me to try to settle me down. And I was not a cuddly baby. I just wanted to be set down. Little baby fists clenched to the world. Yes, it's been a snare. A wonderful, life saving, loving experience, but still I've been tripped up by it.

And Jean. "God is gracious". Yes. He is. I know little else. I had a dream once, shortly after J and I were married, where my grandmother and my mother were in our old house with me. And I was crying at them and asking them why life had to be this way. With all of the trouble and heartache that comes. Why is life so messy I cried? And they both said, these things have happened so that you would be strong. And I woke up just sobbing. My loving husband was so startled by my crying that he actually sat straight up in bed and hit me. For real. Punched me on the arm. Apparently he thought he was being assaulted. We still laugh about that.

These are my thoughts this Valentines Day. Love. Grace. No matter where you've come from. So that you can be strong.

A Glimpse of Today

2011-02-09T20:40:00.001-06:00

Just look at these frowsy-headed boys.

This photo shows, rather accurately I think, just how we all are feeling. This Croup is such a bummer. We are still under the weather and tired, tired, tired from all the coughing. We ARE on the mend though and I'm glad to report that at least we are sleeping a bit better and breathing a bit better too. It's been a long two weeks. Loooooooong. What makes it so hard really, is just that little Hen is so crabby. He doesn't feel good so I don't blame him, but it's been a little rough on us all. He's fine so long as he's held. And adored. And the center of Mama's world. Which I'd gladly do all day if I hadn't three other sick children, and the need to blow my own nose. :)

Here's what we've been doing to keep up our spirits. Besides our regular child-led, loosey goosey routine of school work, which on most days means Math and Writing in our journals. There's been lots of building.....

the draw bridge actually functions on a pulley....

Cricket and Little Owl have entered a Lego Contest. The category was flying creatures. Here is Owl's firefly with light up brick. (yes, it really lights up)

There's been lots of this.

Yes, that's me and Hen sitting on the kitchen floor. Just sitting and holding hands. And me singing songs. And holding. And talking. And holding. And drying tears. Poor little man.

And then there was some of this. We planted seeds! In these cute little blue pots that I recently bought for myself. (they were just a dollar! hurray for finding pretty pots for a dollar!)

We planted basil in all of these little pots and then a big pot of dill and another of parsley. Ahhh, how I love to grow things. It is so wicked cold outside just now, but this...this planting helps me endure. Every time I put a seed in the dirt, it's like revisiting the promise of growth. Of hope. Yes. Hope!

Valentine Flower Wreath

2011-02-08T13:03:00.000-06:00

With Valentine's Day just around the corner, I've been making crochet hearts! They are a snap to make and can be used for all kinds of things. I recently strung a whole bunch of brown, red, and pink ones together to make a heart garland, but sorry...I forgot to take a photo before I gave it away.

Today I decided that it was high time to take down the wreath on the door, which until a few days ago was hanging there to greet me everytime I came home saying, "Happy Thanksgiving!" Aack!
I finally took it down, because I couldn't stand its teasing. And, today, I gave it a makeover. And voila! Spring time! Now when I walk through the door the wreath just keeps its mouth shut.

Butterfly Window Watercolors

2011-02-05T15:48:00.000-06:00

Did you know today is National Monarch Day? Well at least that is what one of my favorite blog moms has in her awesome February calendar. Go check out Se7en for her awesome calendar days. We have been having so much fun with some of these and it's been a fun addition to our homeschooling journey.

Today in celebration of Monarch butterflies we decided to make some colorful watercolors for our windows. It was a great reason to take down all the paper snowflakes in the windows that honestly had overstayed their welcome. Now we have beautiful bits of color all around and the effect is really quite cheery.

Here's what we did. (I got this general idea from the Crafty Crow, but we modified it a bit to make butterflies and valentines and paw prints and all sorts of shapes.) We cut out shapes from paper towels...

Then we mixed up some really watery watercolors....folded up our shapes again and again...and dipped corners into different colors.

Then we (carefully) unfolded them. The colors and folds make brilliant designs and look like this!

Set them aside to dry for a bit on a big old towel and you're done! All this arting left little Hen wanting to join in, but the dipping was a bit messy for him so we got out the paper and brushes too.

And pretty soon everyone was painting and one boy was making stencils out of cardstock and we all had a nice time of creativity and togetherness, which was long overdue. We have all been rather sick lately with Croup. It's been a long week, but I am hopeful we will be better soon. The sun is shining today. The light brings with it hope and freshness and a sense that all is well.

Snowed In

2011-02-02T16:22:00.001-06:00

Last night, J and I snuggled in under the big quilt and watched an episode of Lark Rise to Candleford. (We've been watching old episodes from the library and are unashamed to admit that we love it, and can't wait for the next disc to arrive. ) The whole while the snow whipped against the windowpanes. It actually was a bit frightening how windy it was. The snow was coming down so hard that you could barely see the houses across the street! And today we awoke to this....

I love how snow tells its story of where its been and of the wind that shaped it....

Snowed in!

All the windows had the wind's artwork....

I love being snowed in. So long as J is with us. I feel like snow days are especially for homeschooling mothers....days where God smiles on us and says....Here child, have your love home with you today.

The boys have been sick with nasty colds. We are done with the fevers now, and on to the coughs. Badger is having trouble with wheezing again, which makes my heart worry. Hen is so clingy and needy, poor little guy. Having J home today has been a huge help. I wanted to leave you with something uplifting....and wanted to share these pictures from a few days back, before the cold found us.

Here is what you get when you mix this....

with this.....

and one giant clothe teepee....

wait for it.....

ha ha!

To J, On Your 35th Birthday

2011-01-31T19:02:00.000-06:00

As I write this, our fourth son, the boy who is my little "you", is in my lap proudly saying "Mama! Papa!" as he looks at these pictures of us. His hands, little miniatures of yours, pointing at the screen.

Today as I rocked this little feverish man, holding him all day, I thought of you. I thought of our beginning, and our "I do", and how far we have journeyed together.

J & I our first year together

At music school together

I thought about how crazy our coming together was. Me yelling "I have a crush on you" across campus that moonlit night. How the next time I saw you, you squeezed my hand. How you picked me those little purple flowers that spring and I pressed them in my book of Tennyson, because I knew that I wanted to keep them forever.

I was so young and foolish then. A whirlwind that caught you up in the beauty of things. And....you rooted me. I felt planted when I was with you. I still do.

J in Venice (a few days before we were engaged)

This trip was so surreal. Touring, singing, and being so sick with colds. Seeing all the beautiful things with you. Feeling like we belonged in the world.

Life with you has been so good. Better than I could've imagined. It isn't a whirlwind of romance anymore. But it's so much more than that. So much better than I even knew could be. You have taught me what real love is and I'm so glad for your patient heart.

Thank you for working so hard for our family. For going to work every day for us. Thank you for giving me these beautiful boys. Thank you for loving them, and cultivating them with so much care. Thank you for listening to me even when you're tired and for loving me even when I am a porcupine.

I always am at my best when I'm at your side.

I love you.

Happy 35th Birthday.

xoxo,

reba

Reading and Writing

2011-01-26T16:50:00.001-06:00

Learning at home has been really rewarding lately. We've had several days where each boy has been really engaged in what we've been doing as a group! And several moments where everyone has been involved in their own thing so that Mom can spend time one on one with them. How or why this happens I do not know. Because honestly, there have been several less inspired moments of homeschooling these boys. I suspect though, that it has something to do with capturing their heart! When in doubt make them fall in love with you. No, really! Show them that you care about their heart, and then your relationship enables learning and being in harmony. For real. But, I digress.....

I have been working on building Cricket's confidence in the reading arena. He is so capable but doesn't always believe he is. So....this week I made him a scavenger hunt. Always a good idea to encourage reading. This one was secret writing. White crayon on white paper. Then at the start he received his first clue and a marker!

I stuck with just one word per page because I wanted him to feel super successful! Socks. Go socks drawer!

He ended up with a small ziploc of organic chocolate chips. :) I'd read for chocolate too.

The next reading and writing activity we have recently tried are Writing Journals. I just bought each boy a writing pad. Then each day I write a word, put a sticker, cut and glue a picture, or draw them a picture for them to write about. I've thought about starting a story too, and having them finish it. They love it!!!

Badger's story.

Cricket's Story.

I loved writing stories when I was a kid, and I hope my boys will too. So far so good!

Icy Art

2011-01-25T15:18:00.000-06:00

Snow. Cold. Ice. January.

It's been hard to get the gang outdoors, since it's been in the single digits here for days on end.

So I sent them out to find some treasure.

For an art project.

Who let that boy outside in ten degree weather with holes in his jeans?

He came back with this.

They each filled a pan with pretty things, and arranged them just so.

Then we filled them with water.

We all guessed how long it would take for them to freeze, but we were waaaay off. Even I didn't guess it would take more than 7 hours for it to freeze completely. (we don't know the precise time, because we stopped checking after dark. faint of heart, i know, but single digits.)

In the morning we brought them in for a look.

The day was lovely, so we all went out to find places for our ice suncatchers to hang.

It seemed a shame to disturb this artwork to hang our own.

This was such a fun project for us. They look just lovely as the light comes through, and it will be fun to watch them change and melt as winter finishes its fury and blows away for another year.

ps. you may have noticed that the black walnut from the original photo is not included in the frozen art. a hungry squirrel collected it before the water had frozen!

Gifts

2011-01-24T16:46:00.002-06:00

You may remember, a while back I started sharing The List with you here on the blog. It started around Thanksgiving, when I was pondering what it meant to be thankful, wondering how to teach this to our boys. Then, fatefully, I stumbled upon Ann, at a Holy Experience and things began to change. She just has a new book out now, called 1,000 gifts and it is phenomonal. Life Changing. And I'm only 3/4 of the way through it. I would tell you more about it, but I think the best way to find out is to go watch the book's trailer here. Seriously, go watch it. (just scroll down a wee bit to the picture of the boy with the fish!) The trailer in itself is really, really beautiful.

Now....about the List. I've realized that being thankful is not just a feel good thing. It's not something to do when you have time and want to see your life through rose colored glasses. It is consciously choosing to accept God's gifts. It takes practice. It brings joy. It changes you.

See the thing is, I've tasted it now. And I want more. So, I've begun in earnest. I have a book on my counter open all the time and I'm writing the words down. Little glimpses of how God sees me. His call to me. His love.

#4.... little boy's drawing of another knight. the carefully drawn armor. his stories. his thoughtfulness.

#5...orange light of the sunset over the snow.

#6....boys pretending to be hermit crabs on the kitchen floor. tucking into their shells whenever I walk near.

#7....snuggly dog.....

#8....snuggly dog that cleans up spills.

#11....cricket's willingness and good humor to do the exercise video with me.

#16... tea and scones with my boys. little hands cupping tea, and whipped cream smiles.

I'm still counting....still missing alot....so much that I don't see....but I feel as though I'm being opened up....softened up....like a seed that is just now starting to understand that it is okay to grow now. To let it happen. It might hurt....being alive always does. Growing pains. But I'm going for it anyway.

The Boys' New Project

2011-01-19T09:49:00.000-06:00

We are all excitement over here!

So excited that they are all happy and in one spot! What has their attention?

These little guys. Oh you can't see them? Well....they are hermit crabs. The boys have been wanting to keep some crabs for quite some time. (like over a year) And I am all for following interests, but at the same time have been putting it off because I like to protect our priorities a bit and not just create more work for something that is just a fleeting fancy. (not that fleeting fancies are all bad)

Earlier this month I got my hands on a copy of this book, which I've been wanting to read. It's all about simplifying your life so that you can be free to live more fully. It walks you through how to think about your lifestyle, how you want your family to be and then how to organize your house to make it a place that cultivates that lifestyle. It's really a great book. The second half of it actually walks you through the process of going through your house room by room and getting rid of unneeded stuff! Whoo hoo!

I mention this because, it was this book that finally helped me rehome our beloved fish and put away our giant fish tank for awhile. It was one of those things that everyone loved but no one wanted to help with, and it had become a burden for me to keep it clean. We also recently went through all of our books and movies and got rid of stuff that honestly wasn't worthy of our time. With the money that we got from selling these we purchased our new little friends. The boys loved the concept of making money out of something we already had and putting it to use for a new adventure. Hurray!

We spent last night all gathered round watching the little guys race around the room. Hen especially is interested and it's so fun to watch him explore just how close he can get before the crab snaps shut in his shell.

Papa even got in on the fun. One crab kept trying to go up his pant leg.

I had my camera handy and had a nice time catching some photos of the boys.

And here they are up close.

Rocky.

Diggory.

And, Bravery.

Crochet Fun!

2011-01-15T16:34:00.000-06:00

I've been making small crochet pieces and it's been so much fun! Here are a few recent creations.

Flowers and Sea life. That yellow swirrely creature is a sea star.

I made this little guy for Owl. He loves him! And loves to act out the sea star eating the crab over and over again.

I couldn't resist making a snail. Can you imagine him on a little one's hat? Or as a lapel pin?

These flowers were so quick and fun to make!

Can you tell from the photo how three dimensional the flower is? I love crochet for that reason. You can make any shape you like!

A pansy. He lies so nice and flat that I was thinking of sewing him to a piece of felt and making a nice bookmark for a friend. I also have ideas for attaching a whole bunch of flowers to some beautiful handmade rope to make a garland! Wouldn't that be awesome?!? The possibilities are endless!

Thoughts on a Snowy, Feverish Night

2011-01-14T19:57:00.000-06:00

Some days are challenging for the mother person over here. I really love these boys, this man, this house....this life. I am so glad to be here, alive and well, and able to work and think and love. I see my mothering as an opportunity to show these little people and this man how very much I love them. It's so practical, isn't it? Every time I choose to serve them (think...wipe a nose or bum or do another load of laundry) and I serve willingly I find a joy that awakens me in a way I have never known before. It's really so cool and even though I am the one experiencing it, it is somehow not of me and I know this to be true.

Today just when things were getting challenging....a sudden feverish boy....an afternoon slipping away from me with nothing really "done" (i'm working on a deep clean of the house)....the littlest boy crying, crying, crying and me not being able to figure out what he needs.... I walked around my kitchen with no real purpose thinking how I wish my mother were here to help me. Or how I would just like to complain to someone, as if that would help me.

Just then, I looked out the big kitchen window and saw a mother deer and two fawns walking through the gently falling snow. They visited our grape vines looking for any little bits of goodness to nibble and then over to the evergreens to graze on the tops. It was so calming to see them, and I felt reminded of the story of how God takes care of even the sparrow. And how He knows the number of hairs on my head. And I told Him how I felt about the fever and the cleaning and the crying and the no supper ready and I felt much better. I watched the snow fall and He set me right again. And each time my faith is encouraged like that it grows deeper and more certain and the work gets easier and the joy deeper.

The boys are settling in for the night. Papa's reading stories to the little nodding heads. I'm going to conquer the laundry and the dishes and the bookshelf that needs some help.
G'night, friend.
-reba

Crochet Flower Rug

2011-01-13T20:23:00.000-06:00

One wintry day this past December, I decided to unravel the giant lambswool sweater that had been sitting in my closet for too long. It never fit right, and it was such a nice big sweater that I thought it would be good to repurpose all that yarn. It was a good choice. I made a nice scarf and this rug for my friend Jess.

I didn't have a pattern, just an idea of making a rug with a flower in the middle. I used some colored cotton yarn mixed in with the lambswool, and I was pleased with the result. It's unusual, interesting to look at, and feels good under one's toes. I hope it looks nice in my friend's home. I hope many little kid toes linger on it after bathtime!

I love making rugs! My brother gave me a rope maker for Christmas and it's really fun! I've made a few different kinds of rope with it and now I'm experimenting to find the best way to sew the coils together to make a rag rug. Sometimes I wish these kinds of skills were still passed down from generations before, but oh well....here's to embracing the path of learning!

Taking Notice

2011-01-11T17:34:00.000-06:00

The day started well. Fresh snow. Berry cakes. The last of the brambles from summer's goodness. Warm coffee and a place on the bench next to my beloved. J and I now sit together on the bench at the table. We started it to break up a kid brawl, but decided it was a good move. Coffee is always better with your man when you are accidently brushing shoulders.

When J headed off to work this morning I admit I felt a little overwhelmed. It seems we have not fully climbed out of the lazy holiday times, and the house is still a bit messy too. As I cleaned up the breakfast dishes I chatted with my Cricket and noticed his long, long hair. Oh yeah, I have to cut hair too, was my thought. Why is it that I see the things that need to be done, instead of the people that need to be loved? I mean, both are important, but why do I let the things that need to be done make me feel overwhelmed? Shouldn't I just dig in with a cheerfulness that comes with loving and serving those around me, those that I love?

(this pic is because I know you all were wanting to know what he was drawing!)

So after one more cup of coffee I dug in! Haircuts for everyone! And three hours later, I kid you not, they were done!

After lunch, we went outside to play in the snow. It was the first fresh snowfall in a while, so it was extra enjoyable. Hen learned how to pull the sled.

Badger worked on a snow fort, although I think he decided there wasn't enough snow afterall.

And Cricket, after making some snow angels decided to pull Hen around the yard.

This is my favorite moment from the day. Big brother helping put on a mitten. He was super patient as he helped with this, over and over again. And it was a good reminder to me about my own attitude and how I too want to be so kind.

Counting...

2011-01-10T15:25:00.000-06:00

Calories. Calories are so elusive. Truly. I never thought I'd be the kind of girl who would count calories. To me, "those kind of girls", the calorie counting ones, are too rigid, controlling and dare I say it....mean! That is how strange the thoughts of a girl (okay I'm 35, but still) can be in this day and age. Are we not totally getting strange messages from our culture about bodies, and health, and beauty and weight? Ick! And somehow, I ended up here, being overweight, and really disliking the idea of counting calories, because I was afraid that somehow it would turn me into a cold-hearted woman. (or something) Yes, I know I have issues. blech!

Okay...so....having explained all of that....I would like to tell you that I am doing well on my weightloss journey, because....I'm counting calories. I just finally decided to really be honest with myself about what I'm eating. So I found this free online calorie counter and have been keeping track of what goes in my belly. I like that the website explains how many calories a person can have a day based on their height and weight and helps you set up a goal. It also has exercises and how many calories you expend for your weight and age, etc. It's interesting and I find it helps me stay accountable.

The other thing I have done that is helping is that I bought myself a pedometer! It's really quite fun. And I find it is encouraging on days that I don't have time to spend a big chunk of time on exercising, to just watch how many steps I'm taking and just push myself to do more. Currently I'm doing about 6,000 steps a day! Thats about 2.5 miles, just taking care of my kids!

My goal is to lose ten percent of my body weight by March 7. (I have a physical scheduled for that day) I have to lose about 2.5 lbs a week in order to do that, but I think I can do it! J is being really supportive about this whole thing and I'm so glad he is cheering me on! It helps too, to share here with you all. I can't believe how many of you, dear friends, have sent me an email, or said something in person about this to me. Thank you! It means so much to me!

If you are trying to make some changes for a healthier lifestyle, I encourage you to set a small goal for yourself. It might not be to lose ten percent of your weight, but maybe just to drink more water! Or to just start writing down what you eat. Give it a try! We CAN do this!

Making Changes....

2011-01-09T16:06:00.000-06:00

Making changes takes practice doesn't it? Yeah. That's where it gets tough. Practice isn't always fun or easy, and sometimes you don't see the results for quite some time. Yet, here we are in the midst of the practicing part as we work on some changes around here. But we are starting to see some results!

I am pleased to tell you that J has finally made some headway in regards to his back pain. The new chiropractor that he is seeing is helping alot and so is the fact that we got rid of our terrible, horrible, no good, very bad couch! For real. See?

I realized the other day that the only reason we kept the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad couch was because it would be considered weird to not have a couch! Well, and also I would like my house to be a place of hospitality and comfort to our family and friends. With no place to sit other than the floor that might be a challenge for some of you! But then I thought.....well...if the man can't even sit on the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad couch without being in pain then who cares what other people expect or want or find comfortable in our home! It's his home for pete's sake! So the boys and I hauled it out! Hurray! And now we have the very comfortable floor to sit on. Ha ha. Perhaps sometime we will save a bit of money to get a new couch that is pain free, but until then I am rejoicing at the new opportunities this empty room brings. Now, you can often find us all gathered round the coffee tables playing a game or moving the tables off to the side and getting out the sleeping bags for a movie. So cozy!

Check back tomorrow for an update on my weight loss journey! I'm making progress and have so much to share with you. Thank you to those of you who've emailed me about this! I had no idea so many of you would be encouraged by my story. But that's how it works right? We shape each other. I'm so glad to be with you on this journey. It keeps me accountable! More tomorrow.....

love,
reba

These January Days

2011-01-05T11:19:00.000-06:00

making a tent out of silk scarves

figuring out the potty

baking apricot oat bars

learning that the littlest brother is actually fun

building class with papa

I'm sure if you asked the boys what the best part of the past few days is, they would answer "Building with Papa!" It's been really nice to watch them together. The older two get to stay up a little later and have some building time, while the littler two and I get to do bedtime without them. The littlest is especially glad about this arrangement because they get to read all the "little boy" books they want. I must've read every Bob the Builder book in the house at least twice that night. :) We are planning on making this a weekly thing. Building class on Tuesday nights. I wonder what their next project will be!

The Year of "I Will"

2011-01-02T13:55:00.000-06:00

It's named. 2011. The year of "I will".

I will do what I know needs to be done, in a timely fashion with a cheerful heart.

I will stop and listen.

I will be present in the now and learn to experience what is happening instead of living in the past or future.

I will be more patient. More kind. More quiet spirited.

*I* will be the one to clean up the mess, even though I didn't make it. *I* will help out. *I* will.

I will love that person that is hard to love, even when I'm tired or busy.

I will be diligent in choosing a healthy lifestyle even when I don't feel like it.

I will.

Because I'm loved. Because I want to model this to my children. Because I want to be this for my spouse, and parents, and friends.

It's not a resolution. It's a changing of the heart. And a choice. And it's only by Grace.

much love to you for this new year, friends....
reba

Looking Back

2010-12-31T14:55:00.001-06:00

Well, the end of the year is upon us and I have been thinking about what I wanted to share with you all about this past year. There are ponderings in my heart about it all, but nothing that seems to want to surface just yet. So I'll leave you with this....

This year we went from this......

To this....

We suffered loss....

And celebrated gain ....

We grew things....

We went on adventures....

We made changes.....from this....

To this......

We learned new things.....

We tried new things....even if we didn't enjoy it all the way....

There was, of course, so much more....but mostly....WE grew!

We've been given so much.....

If I was to name 2010, I'd name it....The Year of Grace.

7 Things About Today and A Menu

2010-12-29T17:46:00.029-06:00

Today....

1. We ate pumpkin pancakes for breakfast, which is always such a happy start. Hen polished off more than any of us I think. :)

2. We changed out the 2010 calendar for 2011. Yeah, a few more days left, I know....but I was ready! I read this post about Naming Years which was really interesting. Go ahead. Click on it and read it for yourself. You might like it!

3. We colored the windows. Thanks Grandma J for the new markers. Fun!

mosaic rocket Owl made

4. We learned about air polution, the digestive system, and mosaics at the lunch table. There is never a dull moment when you are with these boys, let me tell you!

5. I learned how to crochet a Granny Square. :) And started making a rug out of an old sweater.

6. We made bolognese sauce. Yum.

7. I listened. I stopped what I was doing and listened every time a little one talked to me. At least I think I did. It's something I'm working on. I always listen, but my body language doesn't always show that I am and it's so important!

Baked Ham and Eggs

And a menu.... It's been awhile since I've shared the menu with you all. Have you missed it? ;)

This week our week started on Tuesday....

T Yogurt Dippers (yogurt swirled with fruit puree & whole wheat toast to dunk)
   Pita pizzas and salad
   Roast beef (grass fed), baked fries, and fresh veggies

W Pumpkin Pancakes
   PB & J & smoothies
   Spaghetti bolognese w/ fresh veggies

Th Oatmeal w/ raisins/nuts
   Hard boiled eggs/salad
   Vegetable beef barley soup w/popovers

F Eggs and biscuits
   Leftover soup w/ fresh fruit
   Jambalaya w/ homemade beer bread

S Waffles w/apples & cream
   Leftovers
   Homemade pizza (pesto w/ veggies)

S Oatmeal w/ fixins
   Leftover pizza and salad
   Chicken Tangine with butternut squash  (new recipe!)

That's what's cookin' over here! What's on your menu? Leave a Comment if you like! I love hearing about what you're cooking!

ps. If you are having trouble leaving a comment will you let me know? I have gotten a few emails recently telling me that leaving a comment was tricky and/or not working and I'd like to solve the problem!

A Bit of Christmas

2010-12-28T13:52:00.001-06:00

Early Christmas morn. I loved it that he was more amazed by the light of the tree in the dark, than the presents underneath. Or at least it's what he noticed first!

Little Hen was not sure why all the boys woke him up so very early.

Brothers.

Papa home.

Papa home with us, was probably the best part of the holiday!

We did travel to my folks' house for the weekend and had such a nice time there. My brother was home for the holiday and we were all so glad to see him. There was much celebrating because he is engaged! Hurray! We are so glad to add Ms. S to our family.

The boys were lavished in gifts by the grandparents and have spent the last few days building with new Legos. I am glad they are so busy as I am taking the week to exercise and plan for the New Year. What a blessed time this past year has been. So much to be thankful for.....the List continues....

#25....for the man who spent his time away from work to be with us. how he plays with them. reads to them. snuggles them. how he listens to me and loves me until I am filled up.

#26....for my mom and dad and how they love the boys. for days spent in their comfortable house. for feeling provided for.

#27...for good conversations with my soon to be sister in law!

#28...for this process of learning to be gentle with myself and for being gifted with determination as I work on losing weight.

#29...for the ability to eat so well. for fresh greens in the winter, oranges so sweet, and fresh eggs that keep coming.

#30...for words. for being able to read. for a mind that is being renewed daily. for people that are brave enough to write about truth.

#31...for going to the movies with my boys, J, and my brother! So much fun!

Thoughts

2010-12-22T21:45:00.000-06:00

The days are flying by! I can't believe it's almost Christmas!

I'm sorry I haven't posted in awhile. Sometimes living and doing is more important than thinking and writing about it all.

I've been busy working out! I'm getting better at it little by little. I so wish that I would see a result, but I know that is silly and I will need to work at this new healthy lifestyle for the rest of my life.

The boys are busy making gifts. Yes, yes....all kinds of crafting going on over here. I'm dying to show you pictures but then some of you would know what you are getting for Christmas!

J is busy at work and at home. He has been busy making some things with the boys too, and of course just busy being at work everyday. It may sound strange, but I am so encouraged by his faithfulness to get up and go to work for us everyday. His patience and love keep me rooted, for which I am so thankful. He has a few days of vacation time coming up and I'm sooo thankful he will have a chance to relax.

Millie is going stir crazy. These cold temps have really limited her outside time. She has a sore paw too which makes it worse. We are trying some cream (used for sled dogs) to heal her cracked pad. Poor girl. She makes up for her craziness by being my constant companion in these long days.

It just seems so dark outside all the time. I keep thinking about how every day is getting longer and lighter, now that the Solstice is past. How Jesus's birth is all about the Light coming into the world. To make a way for us. These are the things I ponder as I go about the doing of these days.

I hope to share more with you soon, friend. May God's Grace fill you up these winter days.